My Miracle will come....

[NikB]

((((Ali))))

Oh I am so sorry. Are there really any words?? I don't think so.. but know I am thinking of you and sending strength your way.

I have no idea how to help your kids... just keep reassuring them that you both love them, I think, and that things will get easier.

Please, please don't apologize - you are not letting ANYONE down and there is nothing to be sorry for.

You deserve so much better. And you'll get it, I know it, because you have it in you. But I'm so sorry for all the hurt today.

[oldtimer]

(((((((Ali)))))))

Yes, you will be OK.

[StupidRomeo2]

Ali, I've waited for my W to return for over a year. I have days that are tough but I have become comfortable in my day to day life. Surely the nights and the mornings are the hardest when my D is with her mom. The house is empty but I try to stay on a schedule, keep myself busy. What helped me the most was moving into a new place and sort of starting over. Nothing here reminds me of her except the emptiness at times.

I'm saying all this because I want you to know that I understand where you are. As for his behavior that's outrageous, he can be upset with you for his own reasons but threatening and not caring about doing that in front of his daughter is not right. It clearly shows that while you've made the changes he hasn't changed and that's likely why he doesn't see the changes you've made.

My advice to you for you daughter is to tell her that no matter what happens she'll always have you and that you're sure that her dad will come around and he'll be a good father to her. He's going through a tough time.

Please also try to distance your daughter from the details as much as you possibly can. We have to protect the kids from all this nonsense.

Just cut contact with your H, let him do what he wants to. Let him feel the burden of doing all this on his own shoulders. In the end we all have to live with ourselves and our decisions.

You've come this far on your own that shows you're strong and smart. We're all here to support you.

[Delil@h]

He just walked in my room as I was reading your posts thanks you all. He told me to pack his clothes for him,, I walked in the closet and then said.. why do I have to pack you things when you want to leave?
He replied .. Oh yeah that is right... shove them up your a&&.
Oh and by the way I am coming for the tv tomorrow. It is a big screen,, where will he put that? New GF?????

I said sure you can take it and keep it at your wh*res house and he said no my wh*re is in Mcallen ( the OW lives there)))) I said yeah well you have one here too I am not dumb and the most pathetic thing of all is you dont even care to ask how the kids are doing... and he gave me the finger and I walked down to get the phone in case he was going to escalate AND CALLED A FRIEND WHO LIVES NEAR BY AND HE WAS CALLING ME... right after he left. I did not answer.


This is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.
God bless.....

[NikB]

Ali - are you concerned he will physically hurt you? It sounds like it?

Can you and your kids go somewhere safe for the night??

I think you should so that you can at least attempt to sleep in peace... just a thought.

(((Ali)))

[Reincarnated]

Ali--
We haven't "met," but Nikki posted, looking for encouragement for you right now. I am so sorry to hear you latest posts, especially after reading only from page 10...

Is your friend able to come to the house?

Was this episode brought on by alcohol?

There may be a crisis hotline in your area, even if it is only someone to talk to and refer you to any resources that might be available for you, and especially your daughter. In our area, we can call 211 InfoLine. Or contact the local ER or police station and ask if they have a number. Please mention your D talking about hurting herself--this might really be a medical emergency.

You seem to have been so strong for so long...hold on, for you and for her...

--D

[BeingMe]

It's a small man that will threaten his W, and talk to her in this manner in front of his daughter, when he is the one scr*wing around, and betraying not only his W, but his child too. You need to walk away from this man. Once threatened, abuse usually escalates, and they will always blame you for their actions, i.e. you were 'shouting' and 'you made me do it'. This and drug addiction is the only time I will actively encourage a person to leave the M, and run. Believe me, I know from bitter experience from my first M (thankfully, only 3 years long, and I left and never saw him again).

You have nothing to apologize for, and you owe your idiot H zero. Make sure you protect yourself, financially, legally, and physically (always have another adult present when he is around you). The fact that he doesn't mind his own child hearing him, tells me he is on the edge of something. Go dark, change the locks (he does not live there anymore, and he needs to phone and make an appointment before popping in to fetch anything, and this will give you time to get someone there with you - make note of what he takes, with your witness, and the value thereof).

Please, you will lose nothing by being cautious.

[mkultra]

Alimari, hey listen, you did nothing wrong. You can look back and know you did everything to save your marriage with dignity. Now, you can act in a way to model to your kids how to handle a crisis. I do not know why your H is acting up now. There is no excuse but do not expect any apologies. Don't take what he said as an insult to you, it is about him. Above all, protect yourself immediately. Your daughter may have said what she said as a cry for attention especially since your H gets so much for negative behavior. He is acting like a child but do not tel him I said that because unlike a child a scorned husband can be more physically threatening even without provocation. Was he offended or drinking? It does not matter. Sometimes people blow up and have tantrums with those they feel safest with but he may be a bully and emotionally abusive. It is his issue, of course. You cannot cure him with your love. He may need real help and you know his track record. A lot of men wil not seek help but he will realize sooon what a devoted wife you have been. Whatever you do, we will not judge because we are all right behind you. Just stay safe from his anger. Show your kids your strength to survive this. Regarding the anniversary of Piecing notice how many of the bombs on these threads occur on an important date? Mine are Easter, 10th Anniversary and D6s Birthday. Cruel irony. Days we should be joyous and yet a cloud looms. You are not alone. You are our hero.

[Delil@h]

I dont really know what has happened but he is off the deep end. he arrived aq bit ago to change and to brush his teeth... how sweet. JK.

He did not say two words to me nor I to him. I am so upset and yet crying has not begun and I do not want to be in the fetal position for days like last year.


He has said he is done with me ....

...it is funny how he called immediately after he left and never called back. I did very well and did not phone him,,, he most likely just would have been mean. I am proud of myself for staying strong.. I normally would be blowing up his phone. Pleading for his return and for us to be a family.
He said very vulgar cruel things to me yesterday and yes his drinking has escalated to the point he does it most everyday and I do belieive he may be abusing some sort of drug too. For him to make that comment about )W was beyond very low.
He also drove by earlier in the evening .... he did not stop and then called to see if his crew had arrived and I said .

NO noone is here.

He really had no reason to call all he had to do was call them and ask them where they were at.

Also last nite when he arrived he did not have his shoes on.. why take off your shoes if you only came to get clothes?

I THINK HE WAS EXPECTING ME TO BE SLEEPING AND HE WAS JUST GOING TO GO TO BED AND THEN WHEN HE SAW ME AWAKE HE NEEDED TO ACT "MACHO" and keep up his charade. Fuuny thing cause I was laying down but could not sleep,, and then I got up to see if I had any posts and he walked in very quietly.


I dunno I will carry on and be strong as I can considering but this will be a long road. I THINK HE IS WONDERING WHY I AM NOT BEGGING OR PLEADING LIKE LAST TIME... THIS 3RD TIME IS A CHARM I FEEL JUST NUMB AND BLIDSIGHTED. uuuuuuuuuuugggggggggh! aND NO APPETITE.... WELL MAYBE I WILL LOOK LIKE A TROPHY WIFE SOON AND THIS WILL BE A GREAT BOOST TO MY SELF ESTEEM.
TRYING TO BE FUNNY BUT I AM NOT LAUGHING EITHER. JUST DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY WE WERE LOOKING AT CARS HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUYING ME A NEW ONE AND BUYING OUR FIRST HOUSE TOO.

God bless.....

[*KS*Chick*]

Ali - I just read the last two pages. I see you struggling, working your butt off, and you say he is trying, but I saw him blaming you a LOT......displaced blame.

I'm sorry you're hurting and I'm sorry he's such an @$$. You deserve better than this and you'll see that one day.

My C told me this and it really resonated with me - I hope it does you as well:

You're a child of the King, and you deserve to be treated that way. He wants you treated like you're the King's daughter because you are.

Stay strong, do for you and the kids and don't lift a finger to help him get out.

Do you have a lawyer that you can talk to about the logistics of all of this?

Again, I'm sorry.