AH, thank you. I have such a headache right now. Yes, it's been a long time. A lot has changed since then. Snodderly, honestly, I think replay is well over with. I don't think he's come out of crisis mode, but he is absolutely not acting at all like the crazy person of 2 years ago. His personality that I knew before this all began has been back for a while, but with distance and hesitation because we aren't together and haven't been for some time now. I tell you, the man was acting insane for a long time. Thankfully, he isn't doing those things now, but he doesn't want to put in what it would take to repair things. I don't think that's part of replay. He could very well be in counseling for all I know; I do not ask. Maybe he does know what has caused him to do the things he did. Just now he wrote and said he has much regret for his choices. I told him I have my own regrets, too. This all sucks. Sorry.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
This takes a long time. Don't give up!! My H has been in and out of the FOG for 5 years. I understand the "insane" years because he went back and forth with them twice. He's been his old self now for about 6 months, but still "can't do this". We live a parallel life "as friends". As with you, I don't call him, he calls me, he still does his own thing at times, he calls several times a day from work to "check in". I don't push.
I've moved on with my life, new house, new job, new attitude...... This whole cylce takes time. Give yourself a break from the drama and do for you.......the rest will come!!
Hope, I'm sorry to hear this. Clearly your H does not have it in him to work on the M. It's too hard. He all but said that.
I know it was painful to hear after all the contact. My guess is that he really does miss you, but thinks that the reality of it all is that it would be jsut too hard to repair.
You are an amazing woman. You're kind and beautiful and you have lots of love to give. So, just remember that when you feel down. Any man would be luck to have you and your H knows that. I'm sure he is filled with so much regret.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
I had hoped his increased contact was something important. It has fallen by the wayside now. I spoke to H this morning but it was about the selling of our home, and nothing more. Oh well.
I'd give anything to have the person I married back. But I don't think he is coming back. You're exactly right, Peaceful_spirit, he DID say he can't do this. It's too much for him. He can be strong in so many other areas of his life, but not in his marriage.
I guess after 2 years now I feel like the remainder of the sand is falling through the hourglass and it's just about over. I am having a difficult time staying in love with a man that I haven't had a true relationship with in 2 years' time. I'm in love with a ghost.
He is filled with regret. I am still filled with sadness. Nobody wins.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hey hope...how are you? I just came back to the boards after a very long time away and checked in on your sitch. You sound great! I know it was a painful journey, but you really seem to have put everything in perspective....good for you. I just wanted to say hi. Hope you are doing well.
