I would not thank her, that is not saying what you mean. I would tell her the plain truth. That you need your sleep. This is your home.
I meant it sarcasticly, but either way she would know how i feel. I really just dont want to push her further away.
Disconnecting the internet would push her away, Anything to interfere with her A would be bad for me she wants her space right now. She knows how I feel and she has to meet this M, so she tells me.
OK I had a very good gal day. Went rock climing W/my brother at the Y took a class on it. It was great. Monday we will go back and take a test to be certified belayers. Also I made it to the top of one I couldnt last week. feels great. I also went shopping bought some clothes and underwear (my w has said in the past that underwear buying is a sign of an affair). I also went bike riding on some more trails in Fargo along river, they are great( windy and hilly).
I just wanted to tell you something that happened this morning. I went into our room after coffee and w was on bed reading Harry Potter. She was on her back with her knees up nighty up over her knees, it didnt cover her youhoo. I gathered my clothes for the day and left looking at it. I think I went back in 5 times for something I forgot.
I am writing this to get it off my chest. I feel like im going insane. I do feel like im nit picking or a tattle tail by telling you guys/gals the things my w does.
A week ago I did my gal thing in fargo I left home 10 or 11am didnt tell w i was leaving until i left. (At first i thought gal was secrative from w, now I realize she should see me gal'ing).
This week i told her i was going on sat. i did stay a little longer than i planned to. That night inlaws where bringing back d11 from week visit and going to do my b-day gifts. W seemed upset I wasnt home earlier. They arrived 20 min before i got home.
Sun she spends an extreem amount of time w/him on the phone and i leave her alone for the most part. If someone calls for her I will bring the phone to her and walk away while she is talking to om. Seems like that frustrates her. Pretty sure she doestn answer her cell call waiting shen talking to om, so d20 or whoever calls home phone then. then i take phone to w.
I absolutly believe the Abducted By Alien theory now. Before i didnt now im sure. Today I gave her space, we did our own things. I fell asleep watching racing and woke up 6:00 to late to make supper i planned. Decided to grill pork chops and microwave potatoes. I grilled and did potatoes, cleaned while cooking. When almost done I ran to off sale for an 18 pack. Set table and d11 went up to tell her supper was done. She said she wasnt eating now. I ran up to see whats up and she was cleaning s7 room while talking to om. I said thats pretty rude(meaning not eating w/us) she kept cleaning acted like it had to be done right away. I went and ate w/kids. After we were done and almost ready to leave for bike ride she came down and asks if there is any left or if i wasnt talking to her. I told her i thought about throwing it away. She said fine and started looking for food and I grabbed it out of fridge and gave it to her(the liftovers). then she complained about never getting beer, I said i just got some. -sorry if this offends womenbut i have to wonder if its that time of the month -never mind its the alien theory Almost forgot she compared me going to fargo last week w/out telling her to her not eating supper with family
-she has always liked me in red shirts, my bday gifts where all family gifts but she picked out a red racing shirt. I sorta thought it was a good sign until the way she started acting
I guess i dont have anywhere else to go with this accept i am utterly exausted w/this situatuation.
Well i guess i can go to bed now d11 is in bed. I have to wait for her to go to bed so i can sneek into spare room. d11 and s7 dont know about sitch or me sleeping in spare room.
I went home over dinner mainly I needed to get rx filled for d16 and take garbage out to street. Grabbed a bite to eat and saw w's list to get ready for her trip on 2nd. I saw the camera on there, when she walked by i confronted her I said i didnt want her to take camera and buy disposable. She said I AM TAKING CAMERA and said she thought i would have a problem with it. So I said ok if you take it you can not use computer to develope you have to take it somewhere else I dont want to see any of her trip. She agreed, I dont really believe her.
She seems so mad at me all the time. I am not pressuring her either.
Is there any last speach to tell her I love her before she goes to see om or is it best to let her go as is?
im at work and will check in later, thanks
Last edited by light switch; 07/30/0708:15 PM.
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
I haven't posted here before, but I've been reading pretty regularly and I feel for you. I'm in a bad situation also, but my W's OM is local - a totally different situation. I've had some good results from "last resorting" I, too, live in a separate bedroom, but I only have one D3, so I'm not having to sneak around as much. Here's my advice (take it or leave it): I think you should ignore her almost completely. Let her approach you. Like me, you probably have a hard time holding your tongue (ie, the camera situation). I would ignore her and make her approach you. If she does so negatively, don't respond. If she does so positively or neutrally, respond politely some of the time, but also respond with indifference occasionally. I think that would give a lot of control back to you. Anyway, good luck.
Me: 41 W: 34 M: 13 (dated 2y) Ch: 1D (3yo) plus 1 due 2/08 Bomb: 6/1/07 WAW: Yes OM: Yes (since 5/19/07 or so) LRT: 6/15/07 or so D status: Talked with atty, not filed.
As far as ignoring her almost completely, I am trying to lovingly detach, so she can see who I really am. For the most part I stay away from those confrontations, she isnt herself these days, seems to want get me in an argument.
Tomarrow she leaves on her trip to see om. Today my grandma passed away, w will not be attending so i get to explain her absince. Tonight was almost comical, d20 asked w why doesnt gf pick you up in our town instead of you driving, w made up excuse(more lies) meeting in next town droping car off.
Tomarrow I plan on going to work as normal, w leaves 2hours later. When she returns on 8-7 I will be at work. If I took off that day in the middle of the week to be gone while she returns I think would send the wrong message. I guess i'll come home as if nothing happened and let her come to me.
She did tell me she felt totaly guilty and was waiting for something bad to happen(grandma passing). Tonight w kids and I watched the collapsed bridge coverage in Minneapolis(Where w is suposidly going). She didnt say much, told s7 we dont normally drive on that bridge.
Your wife's lies are amusing. I don't know if I'd let her get away with it. At least not with the older daughter. She's old enough to know what's going on and tell her mother what she thinks.
When my husband had an affair, I told the kids. (They were 23, 21 and 17.) Their reactions gave me strength. They didn't even have to think about it. They were totally on my side, and none of them was afraid to tell their father what they thought. They let him know that he wasn't just leaving me. He was leaving the family. And the rejection was not of just me, but of the whole family.
While d20 was pregnate w didnt want to worry her, now w doesnt want to worry her w/2wk old baby. I do not want to expose the a.
My d16 asked point blank what was going on, so she told her. Tonight my d11 said we should do something since mom is leaving, I agreed(w didn't hear this). W was not asked but did not offer, thats not my w.
I am so dreading my w returning. Im afraid of her choosing him, witch she prettymuch already has. I guess it will be confirmed. THEN WHAT? Start d? Start repairing m? I guess how can I look her in the face?
rambling again I just need to keep my head up and gal.
Try not to worry yet. She has been in a fantasy. The reality might not be what she is expecting. And it's a long was to go from first visit to him asking her to move in. A lot can happen.
When she gets back you will get some answers to your questions. In the meantime, take good care of your family and make your family and happy place to return home to.
