You gotta do what's best for you and your S. M and W come after that. You can have it all, but you know the priorities, and you truly have to want it to get it. Keep your focus, as it seems you have been!
Me 32 WAW 30 D Bomb 7/9 Separated 7/15 Reiterated bomb 8/12 PA 8/21 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1198643
Yes, it is best for my S to grow up with his parents in a loving R. Yes, I am trying to convince myself that I do not want her. No, I have no pride. Yes, I'm trying very hard to keep my focus.
Fact: Despite my being hard to live with, all my little annoying tendencies, all the good arguments she could make for leaving me, I have never, ever, ever shown the slightest lack of commitment to her, and have always expressed my love for her constantly.
This is the only 180 that matters. I have to show her that I am ready, willing, able, and downright excited to move on without her. That is just about the only way that I can see giving her the chance to step up and DO SOMETHING.
I deserve better. I do not believe that she is now, nor will ever be, capable of being a person that derserves me, or doing what is necessary to offer any repair of the damage that she alone has chosen to cause.
But, who knows? Maybe she will prove me wrong.
Trust me on this folks. If I'm wrong, it's no skin off your nose. If I'm right, and she takes the challenge, She, My Son, and maybe even I could embark on something truly wonderful.
good points. the idea behind db'ing with a was is that they make their decision to act. if she won't come out of the castle, well you have grown, if she does then like you said it will be wonderful.
Double poop. I figure MIL told her that she may still have a chance with me. That, or she is sliding back into the OM fantasy.
Either way, I would have prefered she sound miserable. Makes me feel better when she does, but that is probably because I am a very small and petty man.
I asked about S, she said he's doing okay, has moved into the dry cough stage. I said that's probably a good sign, and I hope I'm right. Talked to S, he sounds pretty good, seems excited about seeing me tomorrow (but not half as excited as I am about seeing him). Got back on with W, she asked if I was starting to come down with what S has yet. I said no, but that I'm on a lot of supplements and figure I will probably dodge it (half-truth, and I have sneezed a couple times tonight). Asked if she was, she said she thinks so and is taking that Zycam stuff (which works not at all, IMO, but I didn't say that). I told her to take care of herself, made sure she was okay with the schedule for tomorrow, said goodnight and signed off.
On to the important stuff (ME!): Went out and bought some new pants (that might actually fit the new waist) and some more health food earlier. Thinking my idea of getting out of town for the weekend is probably not going to happen. As pathetic as it sounds, I really just don't have anywhere to go. Couple of years ago, I had a list as long as my arm of couches to crash on in cities I'd never seen, but she has pretty much wrecked that.
Anyway, the new Bourne movie is coming out this weekend, I'm itching to put some time in on the range, and there is always the option of doing a little paddling on a local river on the cheap. Plus, my brother is probably going to be here through the weekend, which gives me the chance to talk him into letting me "take care" of his little red convertible until it is time to relocate it to the new town. All in all, should have a good weekend no matter what.
Cross those fingers for me, or whatever apendages you happen to have handy.
Gotta stop thinking about her. It's messing with your head. And if you're small and petty for occassionaly wanting your wife to feel some pain, put me in that group too.
Saw you mentioned Samurai Jack in a post elsewhere. Awesome. Be Samurai Jack -- calm, , and collected.
Airborne actually works pretty well if you're trying to keep from getting sick.
Oh yeah, joke for you. No one else I know appreciates this one, you might:
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud.
BD
Last edited by Heimlich; 08/02/0703:03 AM.
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
-- calm, 
, and collected.