I'm just remembering how happy and in love we were and, well, I just don't have the words to describe how it feels now. Disillusioned. Melancholy. Disappointed, both with her and me.
Man, how the hell did we get here? How do you let yourself forget to treat the most important person in your life like the most important person in your life?
In a weird way, what she did was a good thing (though I could have done without the jumpstart of an actual A). It did get me out of my rut. Would probably still be drifting otherwise.
BD
The other day I was driving in my car and Bryan Adams song was playing on the radio which is the one that we danced to at our wedding. You know the one, I'd die for you, walk the line for you then right after came on the Nickleback song Someday. The one that goes how the hell did we wind up like this, why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed and try to turn the table. I was thinking boy these songs couldn't be any more truer of how we started out and how we ended up. It is just amazing what time can do to a R.
I know what you mean about this being weird in a good way. It pulled me out of my rut in the R but now he is done. I pray to God every night that he will wake up my H and have him start to realize what good we had and what good things could be again if we both started trying. I think my H has closed his eyes, head and heart to all of that. How can I expect him to try with me when he isn't even trying with his kids.
Me: 41 H: 39 D: 6 S: 4 M-14 T-16 first bomb: 5-12-07 (M dead doesn't really want to work things out.) second bomb: 6-4-2007 (found note he wrote about wanting desperately to be with OW and would have to give up everything) Kelley
