Lin, we really do need to hear this. Thank you for sharing. I was a half celibate during my marriage for the last three years! And now that he is gone I have never felt sexier. It seems true what they say about women in their thirties being like men in their late teens! Maybe in a weird way I did stay a little heavy to avoid having sex with him. Maybe I did keep our bed in a manner that was not romantic. Maybe I did use motherhood as a mechanism for avoidance. I dunno. I need a therapist on that one. The thing is thath we started to live as roommates, as friends, as coparents, dare I say as siblings. Now, that he is gone I do fantasize about other men, but also about him, unfortunately. It is hard because now I have to deal with him being with a much younger and less stable woman and perhaps even men. I still haven't cleared the whole Brokeback thing up? Anywho, I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. Of course I want to stay married to my best friend and the father of my children. I know that is best, but he is so far gone that my unconditional love is starting to look foolish. 789- I also work with a lot of older women at one site and much younger men at another. I always joked that I had the worst job to meet men so I was glad not to be single. Well, here I am and I think I need a career change!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
