Yes it does suck...and yes I thought I would go out of my mind too...as I mentioned I was/am HD...I had not been without sex since I was 15ish!!!...my H and I were ML (or he was going through some great motions of it anyway)up until 3 days before he SUDDENLY LEFT...and we had been at my neices wedding that same day and all lovey dovey so I was ready for him when he came home...except!!!....he never came home...so talk about left hanging!
I know how hard this all is but really the more you concentrate on the other more important things...like who you really want to be...how you really need to be helping your kids with this...what you want to do to make all things better...sex will take a back burner...it won't go out...you won't forget...but the "tension" will ease...
Even though my H was the one to leave, gave me NO HINT that he would even CONSIDER returning, I kept DB'ing as best I could....because while he did commit adultery to free me (gee what a great guy huh?) if I had moved on to another R I know for a fact and without a doubt (mainly because I know him and we did discuss this later) that my H would have dropped everything right there and let me go...he would have never looked back...and even if I would have come to my senses he would have probably shut his own door for good...
Maybe not all H's are like mine...but I am glad that I had very little to feel guilty over when all was said and done...and the things I did feel guilt over H was quick to let go...he, however, is still dealing with his issues as am I...it is getting better...he is getting better...and I know my children are happier with him here then the couple of "prospects" that I was flirting with the idea of flirting with...one of which remarried quickly after his own D and the other showed himself to be someone that I wasn't interested in...but only after I made the decision I wasn't interested because I was still doing the comparison thing that someone else mentioned...and I realized on my own I was not ready...
Wanting sex...even NEEDING sex is not a good reason to involve someone else in your problems...as much as it seems like it would cure all your anxieties and woes...it really just creates more...look around at any single friends you have and REALLY listen...it isn't a fun world out there...and I am really relieved I didn't fall into it...
I know many of you see NO HOPE...and as I have stated many times here...my H gave me NONE...you can't judge the reconciliation factor of your M by what you see now...I gave up hope so many times it wasn't even funny...I was the one to file for D...not once but twice...WAS's and MLC'ers usually look back as quickly as they leave...without much fan faire and without much notice...
When my H looked back for the first time and I realized what was happening I took the DB'ing techniques to heart and within a month I knew things were changing and he was thinking...
Oh yeah, he had come to visit before, called me, taken me out...but I could tell those were all more for pitty then for him thinking about reconciling...it is quick...it is different...but if you are caught up in someone else...even emotionally you might very well miss the one opportunity...
