My therapist has also told me not to get angry and go file or tell him that I will do it for him in the past 2 move outs. It is good advice. It is a big step. Therapist has always said if you don't want to get divorced don't take steps to do it for him or help him do it. This round is different. He took all that cash out of 401k and we are trying to keep him away from the attorney he consulted with. There is a 120 waiting or cooling off period in Wi before anything else can happen when you file. I and therapist hope he will cool off in that time period and reconsider. Maybe save us the retainer. I am not so sure at this point. Last night he called and said when are you going to make a decision on the final settlement offer. I said give me until today. He said if you don't I am calling the lawyer. I don't want to wait any longer it been months. (He moved out May 1.) I said well lets set a date to file. Then he backed down and said well I want the settlement done first. Nuts. I hope T is right and he is not going to do it. T has been right on for the most part in the last 4 years and 2 move outs.
You are doing great and you should be hopeful as you are going to counseling together. In the past we have gone and even to the point where H called it divorce counseling! It is a good place to tell him things like please call to arrange a time to come over. Then there is a 3rd party to monitor if things get heated.
Although I don't advocate spying and I highly doubt he is living with anyone other than who he said I can give you a couple of ideas of how to get his address. I have never even rode by where mine lives, though I know where it is because I helped him move out of it in 04 and back to the house. Think of this, any Ow would have a fridge! There is no one else with yours. He is in counseling with you a good thing! I have my anxiety about H wanting this done fast so he can move on with some unknown as yet person. Therapist and everyone says not him. He has put in all his settlement offers that I can't have a live in partner while he is paying me maintenance. He insists on that clause and that if he has a live in partner or remarrys I am no longer beneficary on his term insurance. I said that is to protect my income and if he gets a new girl, he gets a new policy. I finally let both of above go as they will be rewrote if this goes to divorce. I am rambling as I am going a bit nuts!
I have a session today with therapist also. You are doing well and hope to hear how things go today.
