First of all, the "therapist" I saw kept reminding me that she thought my wife had an alcohol abuse problem. I like to drink too, but since I am under "General Order Number 1", I'm not able to drink here in Iraq. That being said, alcohol and meds combined can really cloud a person's mind, and this may be why your W. hasn't (or ever will) apologize. Alcohol (and probably combined with drugs) can fuel the irrational, unstoppable anger, not to mention lower the inhibitions where your W. engages her mouth. Her rants can maybe be almost like a substance-fueled "seizure" where she remembers or regrets nothing. Just a guess . As far as "therapists", mine would always say: "Well, what do you think?" ISN'T THAT WHY I'M PAYING YOU $185/HR!!! I got more out of this page than ANY session with her. Guys like No_hill, T2, COG (when he was around) Frank_D, Running out of Time and CATFAN really helped me when I was at my lowest, and as you posted more, you were on target as well. Stop paying and tune in here more often.
As for the anxiety, I really get that. Before we separated, I broke the vacuum cleaner door when emptying the bag. It was a piece of sh*t and part of the plastic door snapped off. I was out of my mind with panic because even though it was an accident, I thought W. would rip my head off as she did for most accidents. I rigged it closed so it would look like SHE broke it when it was used next. Imagine how stupid that is. If she ever broke anything, I'd just shrug my shoulders. She backed through the garage door once, and my only comment was "That was the most expensive Chinese meal we'll ever have. $25 for the food, and $400 for the door! Made a joke and just laughed! Now that I think about it, how irrational (like your socks. You must have gotten disembowled for that before...honestly....)...is that any way to live, not even being able to make mistakes (after I vacummed the rugs, especially).
118 degrees here today WITH the bonus of blowing dust. Like being in a pizza oven with a hair dryer blowing on you. We have the absolutely bravest young Americans here in Iraq. I hope the American public realizes what a treasure the all-volunteer military is. Most don't because they're isolated from the war. No draft. I do have to tell you though.....the Air Force does not have to carry a weapon at all times as we do! I see more of them in PT gear at 10AM that you can imagine. I signed up for the wrong service!
You are together again. You're going to have to stop expecting any apology. If you don't, it will begin to fester like my recent spider bite, and it will grow larger and larger, poisonng any interaction. work around it if you can. She may soften.
I have to admire the fact that you were in such a bad palce and you've managed to work through the awkward reunion. I start to tremble even if I have to talk to W. on the phone, although she doens't know that. Glad things are working out for you, but I'm also glad to see you here again...I recognize no one except Jazz and CatFan!
