Yawmom, It's tough to step back and detach at first. Really really tough. You need to enlist the help of friends. If you don't have any close friends call up some old ones or try to find ways to make new ones.
I found my best friend during the time my H was gone the first time. I found her in a most unexpected person too, my H's first OW. Long story. It's posted somewhere in one of my threads.
The reason I tell you that is to let you know that you can find friends even if you think you can't. There are people out there. When you want to call him, pick up the phone and call someone else. Reach out to others besides him. If you can't think of anyone to call, get online and post here. Read other threads to try to gain advice that has been given to others to try to apply to your situation. Go for a walk, go shopping and leave your cell phone behind, but try not to call him right now. Let him cool off. Let you cool off.
It's tough I know. I've been there, but you can detach. It is possible even if it doesn't seem like it now.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
