Thanks MK. I always look forward to your input on my sitch! Guess I needed to vent yesterday. \:\) I really do believe she didn't want this S before our last encounter...though I do know she was as sick of the fighting as I was. The hard part is that I can see where we are both responsible for our issues, and I am very committed to working through them, while she only sees my fault, and doesn't believe we will ever change. She is a "runner", and the way she is handling our S (from what I hear) is very self-destructive. I am fighting a combo of being very disappointed in her for walking out and handling things the way she is, and worrying about her constantly as I know she doesn't usually open up to anyone as deeply as she does to me, and now she has even been pushing her best friend and some of her family members (who usually enable her) away with her antics (drinking, drinking & driving on heavy meds for health problems, lashing out at friends, etc.) I know that if she is ever to truly see the effects of her actions on those she loves, she will have to hit rock bottom, but I worry as to how far she will sink before she gets there. Most of our issues stem from her self-destructive patterns that spill over onto me and our M, and my refusal to accept her behavior. All she sees is my anger, and thinks it is unjustified in light of her refusal to seek help. I have become somewhat of a codependent in that respect, and though I do want our M to survive, I am becoming stronger through this ordeal as I am learning a lot about myself and the way I have handled her issues so ineffectively. My anger has turned to sadness, back to anger, to self-reflection, and to forgiveness and hope again. I pray every day that she comes to the same place and that she does it before she harms herself.