It is finally out, he wants a D

[HSSweetheart]

Thank you for your response. I agree with some of what you said, but not all. I do not disregard his feelings. If he wants sex, fine, if not fine too. I may disagree and tell him so, but it is still up to him. I do not initiate anything, I leave it up to him.

And about his birthday. I did not push anything. I said too bad because birthdays can be fun and he misses the whole point. I did not say it to him though. I did not even have a party for him as I would have liked to. So I DID do what he wants. But his sister did have a party which hurts me deeply. She is allowed to but I am not. That doesn't make sense. But we do always go out to dinner for all of our birthdays, including the kids.

And I am sorry if you feel that I don't talk about him well, but I feel the need to write when I am upset. I do not always write when I am happy so you are not seeing that side. And yes, I cannot understand his feelings about leaving. But since he doesn't open up I don't know what he is thinking. But this is nothing new, you make it sound like he shut down or something. He has never communicated. I make it a point to tell him my feelings and whether something bothers me that he does. I treat him like the king of the castle. I want him here because I love him and know that there can be a better relationship if he would just be willing to try. All he wants however is to keep to himself and to go out to drink with friends. He is like a 17 yr old who wants no one to tell them what to do. I have always been an adult even in a child's body, doing what was right. I am responsible and he hates that at times. I do not drink, I never have. I do not party. I do not take risks. I am boring i that way. Goody-two shoes I suppose. But he knew that when he married me. HE changed, not me. Started losing weight because he wasn't happy with himself. That turned into a drunk party every weekend and late nights. Now it is a weekly thing. And I have let it go, even though I hate it. I let him have his "alone" time because he apparently needs it. But that in itself hasn't seemed to help. He is like a caged animal that just paces to get out. How do I deal with that? I have just been the best me I can be. Let him do whatever he wants, I pretend I am a single parent most times. I don't call to check on him, I don't even ask him to do stuff around the house. He is living every man's dream life.... Wish I could live without responsibility for even a day!!!