I know you take an emotional hit...a hard on at that when your S leaves you...especially for an OM/OW...but trust me when I tell you that looking for someone else to fill that need and heal those wounds isn't what you really NEED...
Totally! I think it can just mess you up (and your kids too, if they're young enough to be affected)
I met my current H one month after I divorced first H.
(First H and I had been separated for 3 years (during which time I was a SAHM and he had numerous GF's)(read: celibacy for me for 3+years) so I rationalized that the D was a formality and that under the circumstances I was ready for a new R, even though the ink on the decree wasn't yet dry.)
Big mistake.
What I needed was time to heal, grow, etc. etc. Instead, I jumped into a new R with a man whose most compelling quality was that he was soooo not like my XH. (Plus, there was that sex thing...)
I read somewhere that it's no different than recovering from widowhood - we need time to heal and regroup. Even if we do meet someone wonderful soon afterwards, we're just too wobbly to see other people clearly and make clear decisions about new R's.
I've learned that if you are making even silent comparisons of new person to your X, then it means you're not seeing the new person with clear eyes. Which is not fair to the new person either. We need more time.
And, based on what I'm reading and hearing, that translates to at least a YEAR.
Hey, floor scrubbing can be a somewhat, meditative experience, right??
