I am posting this just because. I have seen the ill of my ways and am smack dab in the middle of a WAW. No one can change the other person. Pay attention. Listen. Learn your mate.....
Everyone always says that there was a turning point in your marriage. My turning point was when my wife found the affection of another man. I was hurt, rejected, angry, sad any emotion I had it. We talked and talked about it and went over everything at least twice. I went from wanting to run away to wanting to stay. I told my wife that I forgave her but I did not. I say that because I still held her responsible for hurting me. I felt that she should have bent over backwards, done cheers, done everything in her power to make me feel better. Had I realized then what I know now we would not be here. I was the one who needed to change. She was standing right in front of me telling me that she needed me, all I could think about was the pain I had inside. She was telling me she wanted to feel wanted and valued. All I wanted was for her to do that for me. All we had to do was show one another that we still cared. Of course neither of us did this simple thing and work for a better life. We followed the familiar path. We waited for the other person to give us what we needed. We withdrew from each other as our needs were not met. We never told each other how we felt. We walked right down the path that said Dead End and we never saw the signs. People want to feel loved, needed, appreciated. It is at our core. No mater what we do in life that thought is always there driving us. I have realized now over the past couple of weeks that when bad things happen you need to step back and say “What did I do wrong in this situation”. Once you have the answer work on that flaw, once you do the flaw you see in the other person will melt away.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Well, you have the basic ideas of what happened and what you need to be doing. How long ago did this happen? Is she still having an A?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Cades is right. You know what brought you to this point. Now you have the hard work in front of you to change yourself. In return you W may very well change.It only takes one person to change the whole dynamics of the M good or bad.
JAK
Last edited by jak58; 08/01/0712:33 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I am posting this just because. I have seen the ill of my ways and am smack dab in the middle of a WAW. No one can change the other person. Pay attention. Listen. Learn your mate.....
Everyone always says that there was a turning point in your marriage. My turning point was when my wife found the affection of another man. I was hurt, rejected, angry, sad any emotion I had it. We talked and talked about it and went over everything at least twice. I went from wanting to run away to wanting to stay. I told my wife that I forgave her but I did not. I say that because I still held her responsible for hurting me. I felt that she should have bent over backwards, done cheers, done everything in her power to make me feel better. Had I realized then what I know now we would not be here. I was the one who needed to change. She was standing right in front of me telling me that she needed me, all I could think about was the pain I had inside. She was telling me she wanted to feel wanted and valued. All I wanted was for her to do that for me. All we had to do was show one another that we still cared. Of course neither of us did this simple thing and work for a better life. We followed the familiar path. We waited for the other person to give us what we needed. We withdrew from each other as our needs were not met. We never told each other how we felt. We walked right down the path that said Dead End and we never saw the signs. People want to feel loved, needed, appreciated. It is at our core. No mater what we do in life that thought is always there driving us. I have realized now over the past couple of weeks that when bad things happen you need to step back and say “What did I do wrong in this situation”. Once you have the answer work on that flaw, once you do the flaw you see in the other person will melt away.
beautiful post--you were wise from the get-go.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
