Just playing 'devil's advocate' here...and again, I really don't know your whole sitch, but maybe some sacrifice/leap of faith is needed to save your M. I understand you're already basically living apart, and you're unhappy, and feeling like H really isn't in it for you. It physically hurts.
But he did say he does want things to work out.
I know that when I was 14 I thought my parents should do anything/everything to make me happy, but honestly, if it came to a choice of moving to a different country and starting over vs. my parents staying together? No question. Hands down I'd rather have an intact family. Wouldn't S20 feel the same?
To be perfectly honest with you, coming from a wonderful family, I had no idea what happiness really was at 14 or 20. I think I'm just now starting to glimpse it, and the challenges I have faced have played an integral role in finding it--as hard as they have been.
There are good schools in other places, new friends to make, etc. Wouldn't moving with H and making the best of a less than desirable situation set an important example for your children of perserverance/delayed gratification/faith?
I know, I know that you have been at this for a long time. I know the road is long and the burden is heavy. I know I've felt like giving up too. Somehow though, I just cannot subject my little ones to the realities of parents living separate lives, possible future step-parents, awkward family gatherings, the fear in their hearts that maybe this is all their fault. I will do it if there comes a day that there is absolutely no chance of saving my relationship. But as long as there's a glimmer of hope, I can't let it go.
If there are currently abusive dynamics in your family, please disregard all of the above. But otherwise, what are we really living this life for?
