Thanks Atlas -- not sure that W will be elated, but I think she will be moved (hope so anyway). I occasionally get this image of her opening it, rolling her eyes and thinking to herself, "Can't he just move on and quit doing this stuff?!". I don't think she's at that place anymore, but it sure scares me that she could be.
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Absolutely can not do your talk on the phone, it has to be in person, whats the saying about some percentage of what we say doesn't come out of our mouths. Face her, let her see your sincerity, your loyalty and honesty.
I completely agree with you -- thanks for the reinforcement!
Well, I went and worked out this evening and from there headed to W and OM's place to pick up my kids. Things went well, and I kept my upbeat Act As If attitude, and exuted a little confidence too. Made sure I looked good too (and it certainly helped that I just worked out -- you know, muscles swollen up and all that!). I actually ran into an old student of mine at the gym (also coached him for wrestling), and he made a comment about how it looked like I had gotten bigger (from 139 to 163 now), and I was happy to again hear it from a new source.
Anyway, W and I had some small talk, and she asked me where I was going again this weekend. I told her Seattle, adding that I will call her when I get there to let her know where I'm staying, give her the number, etc. She replied by saying, "Or at least let my parents know." I said okay, and that was that. It was pretty obvious that this talk stemmed from the incident last weekend with my raft trip.
We talked about a few other things, and she seemed to linger a bit, trying to remember other things she needed to tell me, telling me about things that were in the bags (like I wouldn't find them -- she has never done this, but it is something that I've done throughout the separation). I then had the kids give W hugs and kisses, loaded them up, and we all waved to her as I drove off. OM's son was outside during all of this too, and we actually had some good interaction too, which I was happy about. Just showing W that I'm in a good enough place with all of this to handle everything thrown my way.
While I was gone, my friends that I always hang out with showed up at my house for my buddy's fiance's lunch break from work. I told them they could go in and hang out, but that I wouldn't be there before they had to leave. When I got home with the kids, I realized that I had made a few mistakes. I had left my laptop open and had left this website open, as well as a window displaying the cell phone charm I just purchased for W. I don't think they saw this site since the window was minimized, but the possibility does concern me. I also left my copy of The 5 LLs out along with some notes, and am hoping that those items went unnoticed too. If my friend's fiance saw any of that stuff, it may very well get back to my W, which will suck to say the least. I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'm just paranoid and that nothing will come of it.
Thanks for all of the feedback of late everyone -- you've all been vital in my efforts and decision making (not to mention the PMA!)!
