Let the car go. Remember that she did ask your opinion on the car. You keep admitting control issues, let it go. Easy for me to say, because I don't have control issues. True story. 6/7 years ago, my W comes home. Took the day off early. In a bad mood or something. Goes off to look at cars. Comes back, says she wants to buy a van. So, we buy a minivan. She was willing to trade in her S-10 that her parents bought her for graduation, so, I figured, fine.
I don't know that you're beyond DR, since it seems to me that a lot of the ideas are also good for building relationships. However, I think you might be past the 'pull back/go mysterious' type of thing. She wants to be back in your life. Go slowly. Enjoy being with your son. Not drinking. All that stuff. Keep talking. Still, listen and validate. As time goes on and she comes closer in, start bringing up your issues.
Sounds like she busted you on total agreement when she was buying the car. Didn't she say something like don't just agree, give me your opinion? Sounds like she's looking for you and honesty from you.
Second honeymoon sounds great. Why not start with the baby step of a B and B (yeah, you don't just 'go' to a B & B, I'm trying not to be envious here) and start planning a great second honeymoon for a year (or whenever) from now when you can plan it properly.
I'm assuming from what little you wrote that BIL loves his sister. Nut up and admit your mistakes. If they're close and you can get him to at least neutral or only slightly hostile, that's good, right?
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
