I'm glad the picnic went ok and that she wasn't there. Is there any possibility that your H could/would consider getting another job? I don't know where you are or what the market would be like for him, just a thought. Keep in mind that you don't know what "other people" are thinking. When it all comes down to it does it matter? I have this mantra that I say (alot) that helps me with the "others" syndrome. It is..." I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others." May sound wierd, but I use it to remind myself that it is my own internal compass that is important. I have a good one (even if my instincts are currently shot), and this also requires me to really think (and act) on the things I am creating in my life.
As for whether or not she is a wreck....again, does it matter? If she is, good. Perhaps this means she has a conscience. If she isn't, doesn't that speak volumes? As angry as I know you are, I think there is maybe room for a little pity for someone so pathetic. There is always a price to be paid, even if we aren't around to see them pay it.
You said you think she may be looking more appealing to him these days. What are you going/willing to do about that? I know you say you may be ready to give up, but that's not what I hear in your posts. Your choice to make, just don't make it out of anger. I've heard it said that when you make a choice from a place of peace, then you'll know it's the right one for you.
You're no more looney than I am (hmmm, scarey isn't it???). This is just incredibly hard. I'll make a greater effort to check on you on Monday's.
