I had a thread locked, WOW. That's the first time ever.
I am doing well. She had no response that night. The next day I decided to go into the office for the first time since, I believe, April. She took that as me being mad at her and needing to get away. Then today, she asked me to go to the store and get the kids something. I said I don't feel like going. A total 180 because I would usually jump and go. She said just because I am mad at her i don't have to take it out on the kids. I said I am not mad at you. We left it at that. I have to rethink my strategy of going dark. That seems to make her not talk to me. I also have to figure out how to tell her she can't be asking me to do things for her. Those things come with the benefit of being with me. Since she is leaving, I am no longer obligated to do them. Fine line. It gives me a false hope that she still needs me.
She has three job interviews in the next three days. In some ways I hope they go well. Because she stopped working, we got behind on the bills. And then, if she gets the job, it will not be long before she will be moving out. Fine line. So, that's where I am today.
My daily guide to victory book for today said "Don't Serve The Problem". Meaning, you can't win a victory as long as the problem is the biggest thing in your life. All I think about is what i am going through and try to fix it myself. I can't fix it. It's not up to me. And as long as i worry about it, I can't get better. Not saying i will not have bad days, just i will not try to let this control me any longer.
