Scott....we sound alike. My comment was that I just can't conceive of not being around to pour milk on S6's Cinnamon French Toast cereal....or D4 calling for me to help her in the BR...or those goodnight kisses from both of them. I've said the same thing...I planted my W's favorite trees on the property..built the house for US...to make a family......
I agree totally. It is the little things that I will miss the most. I typically put both of my girls to bed every night and I love every minute of it. D5 and I pray, read together, and then have a little connect time. She typically asks me off the wall questions that I have to dig in mind for answers to, but, then she will ask me more serious questions that show her insecurities and fears. I am typically blown away by how perceptive of the world around her she really is. D2 and I read, pray, and then I hold her she puts her head on my shoulder and we sing a lulla bye together.
These are the moments that I cherish the most and now I am getting cheated out of them. Heck...I am starting to cry rightnow thinking about them. Damn....I have not cried for a month now, seriously it will be month this Friday. I guess it is healthy...it proves that I am human after all.
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Scott, you WILL find life again. It will be different and perhaps not the way we had planned and perhsps even cause twinges of pain at times.
Your right Frank, I am seeing that there is life without my W. Sure I prefer for her to be apart of it, but I cannot control that part. As it stands now it is going to be me and my girls, the Three Musketeers, for a while. I am actually OK with this. As for the twinges of pain. I guess that just comes with life in general. I will try to see them as a reminders that I am alive.
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We....hey....we have no control over how they are driving this. We need to stop needing them.
Yeah, We can only control ourselves. I'm just trying to not get infront of the run away bus that my W is currently driving.
Just a crazy thought for the rest of you and by no means am I supporting WAS. But, do you ever wonder if all of this really is harder on WAS then it is on us? I have a friend who used to be on this board(awhile back in the leaving section) that had an OM but choose to stay in her M. From our email conversations I sometimes wonder if what she is going through is harder then what I am going through. I know the WAS pain and confusion is self inflicted(which I have little sympathy for),but they get wrapped in this world of illogical thinking. What's wrong seems right and whats right seems wrong. They can convince themselves into just about anything but at the sametime have a fairly logical perspective on other things outside of there R. I know this is not the case for all WAS, some totally just go nuts and have no remorse. But some might actually suffer worse then us...Is that possible. Just something that I have thought about recently.
