I think now would be an excellent time for you to start working on yourself. It sounds like if/when you and your husband do reconcile there would need to be quite a few changes on both sides to make it a lasting healthy realtionship.
He needs to deal with his drinking, and you could probably benefit from reading books on relationships, marriage, etc... Use this separation time wisely. When the kids are away, plan a few hours at the bookstore or library and read through books in the relationship aisle. I used to do this!!! I'd get a Chai Tea at Starbucks, pick out a stack of books and then find a comfortable spot and read through them. Even when you think you know everything about relationships there's always something new to learn or something you've forgotten. Also, read through some of the "positive thinking" books and read, reread, reread, etc... Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting...
Doing this should help in keeping you focused and positive. Regardless of what happens with your husband, you NEVER lose by focusing in on yourself, working toards being a better person, personal growth, healing, etc...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
