jack, I think winning is me finally accepting things and moving on. I think I'm one of those who won't get the saved marriage by following db, I'll get the consolation prize, the saved divorce.
do I want to hear that my h no longer loves me, that he loves her, and that it is over? no. not really. but part of me does, because it is what will finally set me free. it will be what finally allows me to start to not love him. he asked what it would take for me to stop loving him, I think its going to take this. and at least it will be on my time table, not his. assuming he's honest. which, if I approach him calmly, rationally, non-emotionally, I hope he will be.
it really pisses me off, actually, that he has so little regard for me that he is doing this. not just the affair, or how he's conducted himself since it, but how he is conducting our inevitable divorce. instead of sitting down with me and going over the logistics, which would make me more secure, or going over what we need to do to sell the house (will have to if divorced), even getting it on the market now (and oh what a crappy market it is). I've asked him to do all of those things, and he hasn't wanted to. maybe if this is all out in the open, and I'm okay with it all, he'll finally give me what I need. no, not him, but this. the logistics answered, agreed to, or at the very least discussed.
Last edited by morgan; 07/31/0710:16 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
