What i meant by the pullback is that with her "plans" to come home, she goes out and stradles "us" with another car payment. She hasn't pulled back emotionally or anything, and she is riding cloud 9, we all know how we feel when we get a car. When she dropped S off we talked about her vacation idea. So she is still in the boat.
I have to say it looks nice, it will be a real fun car for her. But I shouldn't over react, while she bought it in her name, she just got a raise and is working more hours as well. She told me that she is going to pay for it, and it isn't my responsibility. I just have a hard time swallowing that though, we have always shared the money and responsibilities. I grew up in a family, where it was all family, she grew up in a house where it was each to his own.
Also, running the numbers, I can make it work. I don't like it, but I can make it work. IF and big IF, she comes home and continues to contribute with her pay. If she doesn't come home after all, I won't be giving her any more money without a court order. Hate to go that far, but that will be my unspoken word. I'll just put it off as long as I can until she confronts me, and then I'll hit her up for her half of the mortgage payment.
Not really sure what to think, natural reaction of the old me would have been to stop that at all costs, I would like to say she is testing me, but that is one hell of a big test. But honestly, I'm not mad, I'm happy for her. Either way I'll be fine, she moves back and the number work fine. She doesn't, well no court is going to make me deal with that payment when she had a perfectly good, mechanically sound, paid for car and did this while still seperated. At least I would think not, but we have seen worse. Even if they did, I could pay it down by next summer, it would be rough, but I'm the most debt adverse person I know, and right now with student loans I am swimming in it.
I always pay my debts, I always make my bills, so I really shouldn't care. What it comes down to, is that I think it isn't the best financial decision, and while it isn't, it isn't horrible either. So I guess I'm continuing to learn to let go of control, even when its BIG! Dang, I hate letting go of control, but it has made my life so much easier, at home, work and play.
