So, I think that's the answer. As long as she ssees you act like you are still married to her, it looks controlling to her. I'd say that how you think on your own time is your business, but when you interact with her the longer you stay 'married' the less likely you are to reconnect. In my opinion.
Like I said, I'm no expert. But I hope that a differnt viewpoint on what you wrote helps!
