hey, some of us with childseats are looking, too, you know! or might be in the not so distant future. yeah, I know my mom mobile isn't the sexiest around, but don't write all us moms off because of it.
I noticed that my H recently started taking the child seats out of the car and putting them in his trunk, like that is cramping his style. What a joke! It must take him 15 minutes or so to unbuckle and tether everything each time he does that. Is he ashamed of being a father or is that the only place he can take a date?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
h doesn't have child seats in his car normally, we switch them from my car to his when he takes them. so half the time, he drives a normal looking suv. of course, I, regardless of childseats, am in the mom-mobile, no mistaking it. ahh, well, hoping it doesn't hold me back too much ;-)
okay guys, where are you all? well, generally speaking. where do nice, decent, fun guys hang out? I know I'm not ready to meet someone right now, but when I am, where do I go? It was so easy when I was younger! everyone is single, easy places to meet people. not really looking to internet date, and everyone I know is married. I don't know any single people around my age, nor do most of the people I know. I love going out at night, but not really into meeting someone at the bars (well, for more than just chatting). I go to the gym, but only when the childcare room is open, so guys are all working (except for the college ones, which are fun to look at, but not really what I'm looking for).
c'mon, fess up, where do guys hang out?
Last edited by morgan; 07/31/0705:52 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Morgan, Be careful what you wish for! I am not a guy but after the word got out at the health club gym I go to almost everyday I got offers. Two offers to help me with the abstinence thing! One was married of course. I am 52 and married 27 years. I get along with a lot of the guys there and some of them are very nice to me. They can not believe that H would move out for the 3rd time no less. Some warned me about guys hitting on me. Most are divorced and just friends. I am by no means a hottie, told I am cute and guys love to talk to me. I listen and am sincere. I also play golf... and ride a bike. The club I belong to has a bar a lot of people sit at and socialize after classes or raquetball.
thanks, terey, and well I'd say you were very much a hottie from the sounds of it. and sounds like you are a great, fun person.
not really expecting offers at my gym, but mainly because I come in with 3 little ones in tow, and I tend to ipod it rather than socialize. and most people have seen me there with h at times, but probably don't know the situation, and again, I ipod it so not that social there. and of course, there is the fact that I go at times that pretty much preclude guys my age from being there.
but I know sooner or later, I'm going to get out there and meet new (unmarried) people. and I'm just in a mood today. probably sound a bit desperate on the boards. lol. I'm just frustrated, in more ways that one, and determined to move on with my life. I know it will take some time. I like to think I'm attractive, or reasonably so, and like to think that I'm fun to be with/around. but oh the blow my ego took with h's affair! ouch. ouch ouch ouch.
Last edited by morgan; 07/31/0709:30 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Your ego shouldn't have taken a blow because of H's A. It wasn't about you. It was about him and his ego and not realizing what he has/had at home. The A will die down and he will realize what he has lost. It will not happen soon enough for you, but it will happen.
people keep telling me its not about me, but its hard to not take it that way. I do know he LOVES the fact that this girl gets a lot of male attention (5'8", dyed blonde hair with long extensions, dresses like she's 20, kind of a 37 year old wanna-be, or maybe that's just my take on her). that strokes his own ego. not that I'm bad looking, I like to think I'm okay, but at 5'2", I'm never gonna have the legs, and even at 40, I tend to look like everyone's little sister.
see, I keep making it about me, and my own insecurities, don't I? I do hope he someday realizes what he has lost. because dammit, I'm a pretty good catch. I am. I know I am. I know I have some really good qualities.
okay, maybe instead of continuing to moan and groan here, I need to go, um, clean some floors.
Last edited by morgan; 07/31/0711:21 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Geeze...sounds like some of you are just sure that your R/M are over...already wondering where to meet the next MR/MRS right...
I thought most were here for support of their M and with help in the processes that go along with that...
I know you take an emotional hit...a hard on at that when your S leaves you...especially for an OM/OW...but trust me when I tell you that looking for someone else to fill that need and heal those wounds isn't what you really NEED...
I was alone for nearly 2 years...I never thought I could make it through the first month...I met and married my H when I was very young...went from living with mom and dad to living with H...never lived on my own before...and sure...I "thought" I was ready to move on...I "thought" I was ready to test the waters, flirt, have someone interested in me...but I soon found out that I really needed that time for me...and I am thankful I didn't go any farther then I did with "wants" because my H did come home...and I was glad to be there for him...I have the love of my life back...the father of my kids...something that I don't think would have been found in another...and something I could have lost for good if I had not kept the focus on me and working on myself while my H was having his MLC...
If you have any doubt what so ever about your M/R...you need to not think about who is going to be next...you need to focus on you and your kids...and just maybe your hard work will pay off...
Lin, you are right, of course. I'm just flirting with the idea of flirting, if that makes sense. not ready to dive right into a relationship right now. but nor am I honestly ready to face 2 years (or more) of celibacy. its not even a, "he's getting some, why can't I" thing. its just, my god, I can't imagine going that long. I'm dying after the short time its been...which I suppose is short, but feels like an eternity.
notice I have not done anything...yet. and yes, I originally came here because I had hoped things were salvagable. but I'm beginning to realize how unlikely that is in my case, so hoping for the next best thing...figuring out how to move on, and for me, that means testing the idea of someone else in my future, even if its not mr right, even if its just mr right now. (no, not looking for a one night stand, that probably sounds like I am).
so the scenerio you went thru, where you concentrated on yourself and your kids, and in 2 years your h came back, and you were able to reconcile, is so wonderful. but I wonder if I could do the same. I would love us to reconcile, but if I really thought it wasn't possible, I don't think its mutually exclusive for me to concentrate on myself and my children, and still find some comfort in someone else.
or maybe I'll grow used to the lack of sex/touch. who knows. right now it is driving me crazy.
Last edited by morgan; 08/01/0701:30 AM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
I agree with you, I have now been separated about 4-5 months, I lose track at times. Have not ML at all this year, and do not really see much hope in my situation at the current moment. At the same time I still refuse to give up so I don't even think about how to go out and find anyone. I just take care of myself and son the best way I know how. One of two things will occur, 1st-I remained faithful so if we get back together I will not have any regrets, 2nd-I will be a better person for looking deeper into myself and who I am if we should divorce. Having used this time somewhat wisely if #2 should happen, I will be a better catch for that someone in the future, but for now I refuse to look that far into the future.
P.S. all us good ones are with our kids.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
789-LOl! I could not agree with you more! Happy people with families do not hang out a lot in bars!
Morgan-You are so cute! If I were a dude I would want to date a chick like you. Luckily, I am a straight chick! Bars are bad!
I have taken some classes at college. Yes, at 37 I was in the sandwich. That means most of the guys were 19 or 59. I was right in between! But it helped increase my network.
Re Car seats- It pisses me off so I told him to buy his own set to keep in his car. Why would he take them out between switching? That infuriates me. He is either lying about being a dad or he feels guilty everytime he sees those seats or they have no place to rendezvous exceptthe back seat. Adultery makes you think of all these terrible thoughts and scenarios!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
