Thanks CVA, you are a good friend and I needed someone to answer me quickly and you did. You are correct in what you said and I needed to be reminded of that fact. I can only imagine how difficult if must be for LBS to pick themselves up and do what needs to be done and also to GAL I know it can't be any harder for us WAS than it is for LBS! I realize that I have always been one that wanted the feeling to go before the actions and it should be the other way around...at least that is the way is has to be in a MR. It is so hard, isn't it? I feel so ashamed and I beat myself up for feeling like I do. I know that I am blessed and I truly want to be the wife my H deserves. I have talked about his lack of motivation in working and other things, but I am just as guilty when it comes to this area of my life...waiting on "feelings" to motivate me when I should "just do it".

I can "just do it" when it comes to housework, etc., better than I can to showing affection to my own H. Isn't that terrible? That is why I won't even get Michelle's book on the sex assignments because I know I can't "just do it"....I've been there and tried it too many times before. Sorry, but when it comes to that intimate part....I do have to feel it or I freeze up and then my H knows I don't feel it and it causes more problems than not doing it at all. He wants me to "desire him" and to want to have sex. If you have any advice about that part...I'll sure listen.

Thanks again for responding so quickly. How have you been doing?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!