WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing

[stewart10]

CVA and WAW:

At least in NY and several other states, it depends upon the type of account whether or not an individual who is a joint owner on an account can withdraw the funds without the other owner's permission. Typically, with bank accounts each individual owner owns 100% of the account and has a right to walk in and withdraw any or all of the funds without needing the other owner's signature or permission. In accounts such as brokerage accounts, each owner is typically thought of as owning 50% of what is in the account, so therefore, in that situation, one of the owners could not simply walk in and withdraw any more than 50% of what is in the account without the other owner's permission.

As far as how this would look in a divorce proceeding, CVA is right, it would not be looked upon favorably by a judge.

[waw1978]

I think the law is the same here in MA. Both names on all of our bank accounts, JT wros...but each of us can act independently. He did not do anything illegal just unfair. I am hoping he willing opens the safe and gives me my half & my jewelry or else I will have to call the police and have him forceably comply.

I have an odd feeling that he is planning on dropping his own bomb tomorrow. Weird but I think he has crossed into the LBS wanting the divorce state. We'll see. I have an appt with another atty on Thursday and depending on how the weekend goes I am probably just going to file a separation or maybe D as this might be the swift kick in the pants that he needs...Unless he has beaten me to the punch. Its just tought since all of my savings were tied up in the jt ten accts and if I don't get my half I am going to have to hit my retirement acct for the retainer...Unless atty's accept credit cards?

[stewart10]

Most law firms accept credit cards as a form of payment. Some do not. Alot depends upon the size of the firm. He definitely has not right legally to keep your jewelery from you. You should be able to access that for sure. It would probably get pretty ugly from here on out if he did not turn the jewelery over, because you would be forced to involve law enforcement officer and then it will most likely go down hill from there.

If he is in fact trying to beat you to the punch, he probably will regret doing so in some time. I only wish that my W was showing the patience and dedication to our M the way that you have been. He does not know how fortunate he is that you are not already gone.

[Heimlich]

WAW,

Did you get half of the stack of small bills? Jewelry? Hope all is well and that any bombs dropped weren't nukes.

BD

[Steel_Box]

WAW

Hopefully it wasn't/isn't as bad as you were expecting. I'm pulling for you.

[Gone Dancin']

Hey waw,

Hope you're doing okay and that H isn't being such a bunghole still. Like Himey said, I did have some control issues, but I don't think I would ever behave like this. Never did at my worst during the separation anyway. Your H is definitely heating up the coals for the fire he will soon be cooking himself in, and like someone else recently said: he will regret these foolish choices at some point.

Let us know how it's going for you. ((((waw))))

GD

[waw1978]

Hello all.

Its been a tough couple of days. There was WWIII going on at our house on Friday. In a nutshell he doesn't want me coming and going as I please in our home. I told him to hand over my half of our savings and that I would be out of his hair by the end of the week. But since I still pay half the bills at our home I would continue to come and go as I please since my daughter and dog are still there with him. He then stated that he would be entitled to a key to my place if thats the case. More controlling BS but I have nothing to hide so I said that I would not have a problem with that. Then he continues on the path that I am not taking D4 to my new place on my nights with her. He told me he would give the cash anytime I wanted without complaint or need for legal intervention.

So needless to say after a good 45 minutes of arguing we both leave. I stayed at my house with D4 Friday and H arrives back Sat AM before our MC sesh and its like a pod person has invaded him! He is nice as pie and sucking up to me like nobody's business. Not sure what transpired between the nasty argument the evening before and that morning but if left me on edge and wondering where this sugary sweet attitude is coming from...He also tells me he thinks that I/We should just buy another multi family house and I can live there and rent out the other units. So that way my "rent" money wouldn't go to waste...he even had houses scoped out for this endeavor.

So needless to say, I am bit shell shocked, don't know what to make of his sudden change in attitude and I am afraid he is up to something sinister...

All I know is I still have an appt with a pitbull atty on Thursday. His recent behaviour has me in a spin and I not sure how to proceed.

[Steel_Box]

Hi WAW,
A couple of things, and as you know my 2 cents is only worth what you paid for it. But;

But since I still pay half the bills at our home I would continue to come and go as I please since my daughter and dog are still there with him. He then stated that he would be entitled to a key to my place if thats the case.

Are you covering 1/2 of the house as well as all of your own place? I'm not sure if you can/want to use this, and I Don't know about MA but here, if spouse is paying for 1/2 of the mortgage without benefit of use and occupancy then they are entitled to an amount equivelant to 1/2 of the fair market rent of the house.
Nomo, did I state that right?

Not sure what transpired between the nasty argument the evening before and that morning but if left me on edge and wondering where this sugary sweet attitude is coming from...He also tells me he thinks that I/We should just buy another multi family house and I can live there and rent out the other units. So that way my "rent" money wouldn't go to waste...he even had houses scoped out for this endeavor.

I don't know why he's acting different, but do you usually stand up this strong? Could it be that by holding your ground, and the perceived threat of legal intervention, it opened his eyes that you really are different? Just thinking out loud here but maybe it was a wakeup call.

As far as how to proceed, Why not keep the appt? You don't have to file anything at the moment, but you can learn more about your rights and position, and be prepared. All the while H doesn't have to know this and you can observe to see if something is changing.

[Not Much Left]

Hi WAW
Sorry you are on the roller coaster. If I recall, your H has demonstrated some irrational behavior before, yes? Mood swings?

Anyhow, just go with the flow and hold your position w/o getting hostile. Take the high road no matter what he does, then you can look back and always say you did the right thing.

CVA

[Nomopo]

Hi WAW!

Nomo, did I state that right?

Not sure. Not my jurisdiction or expertise. Sorry.

WAW, I think the change simply reflects that he wants you, and wants to save the M, but has no clue how to go about doing what's best for the sitch. He gets angry, upset, scared and is hurt, so he lashes out, and part of this he thinks will bring you around, shock you to your senses. If you can't take D4 with you, or come around, then surely you will end the S right?

Then he goes home and feels like crap. The fight was hard for both of you. He likes it no more than you, I'm certain. He feels bad. Resolves to be nice. And ocmes over and is nice.

He is just totally clueless about how he should be acting. He needs DR in a big way. Did you ever talk to the C about trying to get H on the program? If so, how'd it go? If not, why not?

As hard as it is to believe, I think H's real intentions/desires are the right ones, he just hasn't been educated about how best to accomplish it.

Hope it gets better. Hang in there.

Nomo