The best advice I can give you about piecing is to stay detached. DBing is a *life* strategy, something you'll need to do for the rest of your life. It's also going to take some time until it's your turn to bring up your issues...be aware that your own anger will creep up on you when things are more solid. You may feel like the alien at some point too.
This is normal and natural. You just keep doing what you were doing to get to this place, and *you* will be okay.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
