Not so fast!

[indybyathread]

Thanks! Yea, I have to remember that I'm supposed to be doing what feels right and seems to be working. Doing the friendship thing hurt like heck and certainly wasn't working. I was really letting him have it all his way. He could be here whenever he wanted and play family and feel like a nice guy for awhile. I would keep on a happy face and act as if I was here as a friend and had no other expectations. I would be fine for a day or two and then when the pressure built up too much in me I'd lose my resolve and I ask a question about how he was feeling about us or if he's progressed in his relationship with EA. I would, of course, not like the answer and then spend the rest of the day feeling dejected and angry at myself for asking the question to begin with. I need to detach!

But I don't have any specific rules to follow, right? My rules now. If I want to do something with him at some point, I can. First though, I need to get through a few weeks of real separation then I can re-evaluate and see if he is showing signs of wanting to spend time with me. If that should happen, I will make my own new set of rules.

Sounds good on paper. Now to see if I can really do it!