Chances are he believes this other person will meet his needs and too often I hear the old statement a leporad does not change its spots. Honestly, I do not believe in we can't change, but rather few of us are willing too and even fewer are willing to wait it out to see if the other will really change. Sometimes I believe that every now and then you have to test the water and ask what do you think about going to couseling or coming home and trying to work on it. Maybe not often, but every now and then so they remember they are missing time with someone who has been and wants to be with them again.
This is probably why so many people go through countless romantic relationships and don't really get it right. It takes a lot of effort to keep the love alive and even more once problems are identified.
I told my W. all about my relationship with the OW. When, where, how long it went on, basically everything she wanted to know. At first she was very interested in staying together and this can make us stronger. It took me about 2.5 months to fully commit to that idea. The problem is once I fully commited she then said she was fooling herself and seriously doubted if it could work out. She waivered back and forth for about 4 months now and still waivers.
Meanwhile, it becomes apparent that her emotinal needs are being met by a "friend" (male). So now I have the obstacle of not only proving my love, respect, and commitment to our family, but on top of it dealing with the fact that she is in an emotinal affair and does not even realize it.
Some days I just want to bang my head against the desk!
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
