We start to get a little to connected. Iv'e noticed that abouty myself, then i have to stand back and detach again to keep H on his journey so that he can work on himself and come home from the Darned mothership.
OMG, this just made me spew coffee out of my nose with mothership comment. Yeah, I SO remember that.....
It occurred to me...what are you doing to GAL? Work on your PMA? Your focus is all on H...and it needs to be on you. I like your idea of treating yourself like an OP; whatever strategy works for you, use it! I used to imagine all the crazy hurtful things H did as red balloons. I'd look at the balloons then cut the string and what those hurtful actions fly away. It worked for me, so if your strategy works for you, go for it!
It's occurred to me that part of why H may be asking you for permission is also to see your reaction...I mean, he's clearly been a big butthead, and I'm sure he knows that. When you react, it's reassurance that you still care to some extent. I agree with JAK about the response if he asks you again...in a calm, non-emotional tone. Then leave the room, get a book, take a bubble bath, listen to music and dance, etc. Doing something else will help you work out that anxious energy.
Take care!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
