I absolutely agree with you. So many things in my marriage are still controlled by me...by default, not because I want the control.
I (just like the rest of you) HATE it when I ask my husband "so what wouldy you like for dinner?" and I get..."I don't care". Often I'll even go so far as to give him two choices...and he still will not pick one. It is irritating to the nth degree. This really was a big issue for us in the past...now not so much because he now knows (because I've told him) how much it irritates me that he won't make simple decisions within our relationship, he would leave them all to me.
When I confronted him about this awhile back his response was "I really don't care, I've been thinking about stuff all day I just want to kick back and relax." To which I replied..."what do you think I have been doing at work all day...finger painting?"
To give him credit...he does much better now about participating within our family and not just going along for the ride...but it took me confronting him about that behavior and pointing out that I have to make decisions all day long too....but I don't get a break from it at home just because I worked all day.
My H will NOW plan dates for us, and get everything arranged too. If we go out to dinner on a whim...he'll voice a preference if he has one...if I offer choices for dinner, he chooses. I have to admit, it really helps.
