My blog, no, I haven't updated in a while. I don't know what it is, I have been so down & depressed lately. I can't seem to snap out of it. I've been very, very lazy about lots of things lately.
Still can't find a place to live; XSO is still nuts and all over the place. There's crap going on my family that I'm tired of. Living here is really starting to get to me. I even told MIL I felt like packing up a U-haul, getting in it with the kids and pointing south. I've had it with everything and everyone.
I know everyone has bad days, but mine seems to have extended a lot longer than a few days and I can't seem to shake it off. Yesterday XSO got mad at me for 2 reasons - the first he wanted to borrow money - I told him no. That infuriated him. Then he called at 4 pm demanding to take D8 overnight - again I told him no. The story behind that - he was on his cell and literally said to me "I'm at XY place, I want D8, make up your mind yes or no right now" - not being able to hear him very well, I told him no. Needless to say, now he's all p!ssed off, yelling at me and saying nasty hurtful things. Yesterday he had a court appearance stemming from his arrest by XOW, so I know he wasn't in the best of moods from 9 AM on (the money he wanted to borrow was $2000 for a retainer for his lawyer) - and my telling him no a few times made things worse, but that's no reason to take everything out on me.
But I just can't figure why it even matters to me. I don't know why it matters what the guy says or thinks about me. I thought I was doing all right, but I guess it all catches up after a bit. Mixed in with some issues with my sisters & brother, I'm very tired of all the crap and want it all to go away. But it doesn't.
I'm venting here, lol, and I know I'm whining. Something I don't usually do, so pardon me until I snap out of it.
