I'm so sorry. the only advice I can offer right now is that yes, you want to know the details (I wanted a virtual mosaic of information on my walls), but it can be very detrimental to know them. If you want out, they can be helpful to find distance, but if you want to save your M, even if you think there is a slim chance you might want to save it, then don't ask. It will only hurt worse. trust me, I've btdt.

its a normal response, to crave the details...my friend (a therapist) really explained it well to me. briefly its our brain's way of making sense of something that we can't handle emotionally.

if you haven't, get the DB/DR book. good for you for finding this place so soon. if you don't have one, find a therapist for yourself now, if your wife is willing, find a therapist for marriage counseling as well. but definitely find one for yourself. I would have been a mess without mine...found her the day I found out about H's affair, so have been with her for 4 months now.

good luck

Last edited by morgan; 07/31/07 01:41 PM.
M-41
H-38
M-10 years, T-14 years
Bomb-PA 3/19/07
Separated-6/7/07
Piecing/h back home 5/08
S-6
S-4
D-4

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"

-Mary Anne Radmacher