Attraction is a bit harder but I am being a little more playful with her and flirting just a little , then backing off.
This can really open things up. She may get a bit nervous at times, but then when she sees you back off, she will get a bit confused and wonder why you stopped. If you also flirt with other women, this is even more effective! She then starts to really question what she is losing (esp. when the other women respond favorably to your flirting).
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I am pretty much treating her a someone I would like to get to know better but am unsure if the feeling is mutual. So its about doing something and judging the response.
Perfect attitude and the reality of your/our sitch!
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The results.
1. She answers txts with wordy replies instead of the yes/no/ ok that I used to get.
2. She is happy to do things for me when I ask.
3. She laughed when i touched her playfully last time I saw her.
Its hard to convey the change in attitude in writing but its there and she is making an effort too in her actions.
No words yet but they don't count anyway. There is no indication that she is thinking about revisiting our relationship and I think that she is still some way from that.
Dave, this contains so many baby steps I can't even cite them all. Just keep your expectations where they are and don't let her responses change your PMA. Learn what works and what doesn't, do more of what works and stop doing what doesn't.
The mere fact that she is initiating/extending conversations and not giving big negative feedback to your flirting is a giant baby step and an indication that she is (at some level) thinking about how to improve your R. Remember, most affairs start with friendship, yours could too! (Heck my W and I were friends in school and started dating 8 years after we first met!)
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I am being very cautious, shes like a timid bird at the window any sudden move and she will fly away.
Well stated and again exactly the right perspective.
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I am working on bulding attraction , she needs to want me before we can make any real progress with our new R .
Absolutely. Have you read Deida's Way of the Superior Man ? He talks about this. She will only be attracted to you if she respects you and believes that you are following your true path, irrespective of what she does or does not do.
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Its already a new R , just were it heads is an unknown. There is no rush.
Exactly!! You are in the zone, working on yourself and seeing if there are possibilities for a R with this woman who you are trying to get to know. Keep thinking that way and you will find the right path for you.
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
