Don't lose hope! More than anything, it may help to recognize that nothing your husband is saying right now is written in stone. Yes, he sounds sure of himself, it all sounds so final, he doesn't want to work on anything, it's all over.... but remember that he was in love with you when he married you, and love doesn't go away so easily. If he were totally easy in his mind, he wouldn't have to yell.
If he's fighting with you on the phone, you can always 180 by avoiding his calls. You've got it right: he won't give you a chance to redeem yourself, because he wants a fight. I think that you might have better luck if you let him simmer down before you talk to him again. I don't think that you'll be ready to deal with his anger until you are yourself a little calmer. Time is what you need. The hardest part always seems to be gathering enough patience to work your way through this.
As unhappy as you are--does he sound any happier? He's probably saying hurtful things, but there's a good chance he regrets them, or will regret them. Try not to dwell on what he's saying--and better yet, don't give him an opportunity to say it.
You CAN change his mind, but you can't expect to do it quickly or to see instant results.
Right now, you can work on you. Try to do things that will calm some of the anxiety--exercise--or skim through some of the other threads here--read the success stories--journal your thoughts.
