Today was our meeting with the ST and it went very well.
We had come to sort of a stand-still where H was wanting to back off the counselling because he felt he was who he was and nothing could change that. However, we actually got to another place in our session today where H admitted some very deep emotional connection to me and that he had never experienced that with anyone before. ST asked him why then was he trying to sabotage the R and push it to the edge when he risked being alone, yet again, in his life. He asked if this is what he wanted - H said he didn't want me staying in a R if it was not fulfilling to me, but ST said "that's not what I asked - what do YOU want out of this R?" and H responded that he really wanted to remain together and become closer
ST told my H it was the first time ever he actually saw him express some actual emotion and felt he was actually showing some vulnerability
We have peeled off another layer it seems and ST feels we are ready to try a new type of therapy. It is called Emotionally Focused Therapy and we are starting next week so I am very pleased and anxious to see where we go from here.
On the way home, H and I talked about our session and our misundersandings of each other. H said when he told me "he couldn't change and I am who I am" that didn't mean he didn't want to find a better way for us to cope and deal with our issues and he is still willing to push forward and find ways to make our life together better.
He also told me last night, for the very first time, he actually felt vulnerable (or at least he thought he did, because he wasn't sure if that is what it felt like as he has never felt like that before) All he knew was that he felt like that wall around him was starting to come down
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
