Why do these things happen Vlll

[sadhearted]

Must be a lot of us old fashioned people here. Now if we could double that number to include our spouses.

[789]

That cannot happen, places like this would go out of business. Not that any of would complain about that.

I guess part of me feels like an idiot holding out hope that we will reunite one day. My biggest problem is that I have this deep feeling that she will eventually "wake up" and realize we do have what it takes to make it a wonderful and healthy marriage. I just want to be around if and when that happens. Then again I could just be the idiot thinking that way.

[sadhearted]

Yeah I don't think you'd hear any of us complaining.

I've asked my SIL countless times if I'm being stupid. Like you I think if he'd open up to me we could make this work and have a great marriage. Could I be fooling myself. Sure but right now I still feel I need to do everything I can to save my marriage.

Only you can decide when enough is enough.

[catfan]

I guess part of me feels like an idiot holding out hope that we will reunite one day. My biggest problem is that I have this deep feeling that she will eventually "wake up" and realize we do have what it takes to make it a wonderful and healthy marriage. I just want to be around if and when that happens. Then again I could just be the idiot thinking that way.

We all feel that way at times and second guess ourselves. I think you have a reasonable concern about waking up and being around. You are digging deeper into your own character which is all part of the growing process we have to go through.

[789]

I am not second guessing myself, I know I am doing what is right for our marriage to come back together if possible, and I am doing what I also feel is right for me. I am getting more more mellow about it and hope that I am digging into my own self more to learn about me. I will keep doing it as long as I feel it is the right thing to do.

[789]

I've asked my SIL countless times if I'm being stupid.

Well what was her answer.

Like you I think if he'd open up to me we could make this work and have a great marriage.

It is up to them to decide that, we can only do what is right for us at the current moment.

Could I be fooling myself. Sure but right now I still feel I need to do everything I can to save my marriage.

We are not fooling ourselves, we know it looks pretty bleak at times, the way I have been thinking about it is that she stood and was strong for our marriage for 10 years, just reversed now and I am the won who is standing for the marriage.

Only you can decide when enough is enough.

Funny, I am the make a decision and go with it type person, now I couldn't make a decision if my life depended on it.

[sadhearted]

She doesn't think I'm stupid.

Yeah and for me it's to stand for my marriage.

Yeah really bleak at times. I've always been the one to be strong for our marriage.

I may doubt what I should or shouldn't say or do with him but I know what I'm doing in not giving up on us is what's right for me and I hope us.

[789]

Thats good, I always assume everyone knows more about what is going on or not going on in my marriage than I. She was the one in our marriage, so just my turn now for standing.
I am like you, always afraid to do or say the wrong thing, so I just shut up and have fun with our son.

[sadhearted]

Well anyone I have to talk to is as confused as me about this. I don't know that my H is talking to anyone. He doesn't really have any friends and he just changed jobs so no one there to spill his guts too.

It's been a pretty tough couple days around here. Just trying to be there for my H which I'm glad to say he's letting me. You can read all about that on my thread won't type it all here. And letting my S7 talk about her to when he wants to. Tonight he was very cute. He was in his room and when I told him it was time to go to sleep he said he was just in there talking to gran and watching a movie. Then said he had to scoot over because gran and god wanted to lay down too. Oh and trying to take time for me.

[789]

Make sure you take that time for yourself, we all need that from time to time.