It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Trixi]

personally, i agree. that's the "showing love" part.

except when the spouse is saying, "aww, its just soo tough me moving out.. i feel all lonely in my house and want affection, gimme!"
to which point, the response would traditionally be, "I'm so glad you feel the same way as I do! So... when are you moving back?"

Very funny post! You seem to have "spoiled brat" down to a 't'.

said a bit toungue in cheek.. The "professionals" may advice a little less pounding of 2x4s on his head every time. then again. others may say that you should be totally dark, and say "call me when you reaaaally want to move back in. otherwise.. c-ya".

it's not clear to me when each approach is best.

Probably the best advice is to pick an approach, and then be consistent in it.

It's that "picking an approach" thing. Harley from the "other site" has suggested that I go completely dark (plan b). My C says that we should see each other once a week to do stuff together, talk about things. Harley was appalled when he heard this. My parents have also suggested a different C, as they are not the least bit 'confused' about my H's behavior. He's been spoiled rotten his whole life.

I have just put in a call to a different counselor that deals with ACoA and also 'transitional' issues such as divorce, career changes, etc. I sure hope she has time for me...soon!