Hey J, my H and I haven't slept apart even one night since this all began a year ago, and I have been surprised how his snoring doesn't bother me anymore, well, not too much, not enough to get up and sleep elsewhere. He has told me, and even said so recently that if only my changes had taken place before all this happened, before I found out about ow, that he could believe in them better.
When he says this, he won't say it for what it is, but will say, before it came to this or something, as though he could be ashamed to say it out loud. I hope he is confused, but leaning towards me, because I am really trying hard to be the way I should, without giving up the part of myself that I really like.
And since we do always sleep together now, I do know when he has bad dreams, like the other night, and I was rubbing his arm to comfort him, so yes, he seemed to appreciate that.
And of course he does not have any flaws, at least he says so. He says he is a good person, he says everybody says so. But he sometimes will admit to a flaw or two now. He will say that he should have taken control years ago. and he will get ticked off all over again because of our house siding, and how we were turned down on the lawsuit to collect any money from it, and how it was all my fault, as though I put the darn siding on the house. He totally blames me for that, and has dredged it up several times. I try to tell him that it was because of a failure of the builder to get the proper flashing installed that the siding was damaged, and the lawsuit wouldn't pay for it because of that, but he will not listen, so I just let him gripe about it, while I learn some home improvement stuff, so I can try to do some of the repairs myself. He says I screwed up, because some of his friends have gotten checks to fix theirs, and we should have gotten one, too. I just cannot make him see that above where the flashing should be is fine, but under where it should be is ruined. NOT MY FAULT!!
Yeah my diet was the infidelity diet. Now, though, I want to eventually start running again, which is something I really hate to do, but also used to love to do, at the same time. It would be nice to go to a place where you are the skinniest girl around, even though you aren't really skinny. What a confidence boost. I can't wait for you to go to Alaska, too. I want to hear all about it, and live vicariously your new adventure.
I am trying not to think about ow and my H. I hardly give her a thought, but I tell you that with her having a common name that seems to be everywhere, when I turn on the tv, on practically EVERY channel, I am serious!! Two shows that H and I watch, that name is on both of them!! Go check your dang email, and I will tell you the name, and you can see for yourself. My S has gotten to where we joke about the hated name, and every time we are watching something he will just turn and raise an eyebrow at me, if that name is mentioned.
You know, I appreciate your advice, and the advice of all those who have helped me, it helps keep me from going nuts. So, keep it coming.
