It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Trixi]

Maybe part of him is regressing into the mommy/child thing.. but the other half resents that and wants to get away. He needs to find a working, balanced, equitable relationship with you; but instead of sitting down together and working on it, and how it would look like.. he's running away to " figure things out".
(except its more like seeing "if the grass is greener on the other side").

I agree, I think you are on to something. If you could have seen him at the bedroom door the first night when I told him to sleep on the couch- his pillows clutched at his chest and him saying "no!" like a 3 year old being defiant, you would have laughed. Keep in mind, though, that little kid talk is a little bit of our conversation style. (We do it to back and forth.) It's not a non-stop thing-- just sort of more like a joke/silly talk when we're trying to lighten the mood and take an argument down a notch.

His behaviour is quite childish and there are many times when HE needs attention and is grabby for me and wants ME to take care of him; but if *I* am in a weak moment and act the same way he does, he calls me "needy". Of course, I point out the hypocrisy--but it doesn't matter to him in those moments.
AND, one of his gripes is that I am 'mothering' him. But yet he comes to me for that on occassion.....Dom R, yes, I think you're on to something indeed!

Max-
He has not moved out. He says that he's taking time off at the end of the week to move. Sounds like he should be gone by the end of this coming weekend. *sigh*

So, if I have an adult/child on my hands who comes to me all needy and wants love, how am I supposed to turn him away? That seems mean to me. (I know this from experience on the receiving end.) If I give him what he seeks, he will resent me later (apparently), if I turn him away- how does that show him that I am open to reconciling?