GD's Dilemma, 4

[Gone Dancin']

Thanks for all of the optimism CVA, Sunny, and Nomo -- it definitely helps rekindle the PMA!


CVA,

No way, no how is this what would make her go one way or another.

I hope you're right. In reflection, calling her about the trip just seemed like such an important thing to do since it involved the kids and me leaving town for a couple days. What parent wouldn't be T'd off for this? I don't necessarily think it could be the nail in the coffin, but the timing is just so poor that it doesn't give her much time to cool down between now and both the talk and D day.

Sounds like your card to W went pretty well, eh? Keep up the good work (and let that convo about S9 and the trip roll off that back -- get back to DBing full force!)

Sunny,

My feeling is that all your GALing activities & change in attitude are beginning to shake your W up.

I think that's part of the reason she got so upset with you, your actions are starting to feel like they're out of her control now b/c you're less focused on her (she thinks anyway).

I like the thought of this being a possibility. I have been consistent with my 180s and attitude for 10 weeks now, and one DB article mentions that it takes an avg of 4-5 weeks for a WAS to believe an LBS's changes are sticking and for real. Hopefully that means that my W believes that mine are for real by now too, though I still have my doubts because she may think I'm just doing it to stop the D (since D day is coming up fast).

It is really curious that she began to cry though. I don't think what I did gave her any reason to cry, nor do I think anything in the conversation could've given her any reason. Strange timing, and makes me tend to agree with you that this may be more about me and less about the kids. Thanks for the perspective! I love this DBing Think Tank we all have at our disposal!

Happy Dancing Jazz Hands

Thanks! Did you ever find out what "Jazz Hands" look like? Oh, and my dance performance team started learning Samba two weeks ago. It's a tough one, but I'm already loving it a bunch! Within time, it could very well replace Lindy Hop...

Nomo,

This may sound crazy, but I think this may be good for you. You showed her a lot of the new you!!

I agree with you on this, but it is just the timing of it that I feel is bad. However, maybe it will be more helpful in terms of the timing (like you said later in your post). I can see it this way more and more.

So maybe you should have checked with her first. Learn from it, but I doubt that was what the call was all about. I think she is conflicted, at least a little.

So what exactly do you think the call was about? Seems like a good enough reason to call. Also, what do you mean by you "think she is conflicted?" Sometimes (actually oftentimes) I need these things spelled out for me.

Can you get her a little gift (kind of like my cheerleading trinket) with a little note. Might drive home how sincerely bad you feel, and how different this new person is. Maybe a little teeny tiny phone (a charm?)

I really like this idea (I need to begin thinking symbolically -- these ideas are great!). I'm thinking maybe a charm, keychain accessory, etc. Maybe attach it to a small, cute piece of stationary that says something like, "Just want tell you how sorry I am that I didn't call you about the trip. This is to let you know I won't forget next time (or the next, or the next, etc)." What do you think?

Hell, this sort of gives you an opening to have the last stand talk I think. When is that planned for? Where's the lastest outline/draft?

Not sure how it give me an opening for the talk, but I can see how it may improve my chances like you said. I haven't figured out the talk for sure yet, nor when I'll do it. I'll probably kick it around late tonight and/or tomorrow. I'll post it once I've made a new decision so I can get some more feedback.

As usual, thanks for your awesome support, friendship, and insight! And I'm equally jacked to meet the Man behind the impecable DB mask! Can you tell me if there is more than one Marriot in Orlando, and if so, which one you're staying at? I haven't booked my room yet, but I will once I hear from you about the hotel sitch. If you want to email info to me, it's [e-mail]

GD