Newcomer in Pain

[Bakit Ngayon Pa]

My goal is to remove all focus from me or my reactions and let her be the one doing most of the work thinking about the costs of her choices.

At the same time, I've started working hard to GAL. Yesterday, I picked my son up at my W's parents (he stayed the weekend) and had dinner with them. They are my age. They hate what she's doing but, like me, they have to live with it. Anyway, we planned to get together again next Saturday, along with W's brother, to go wind surfing. Also, W's father and I plan to take golf lessons with my S (W might start thinking I'm stealing her family from her). I'm also going to start playing tennis again.

Also, I'm taking my kids to San Diego Sunday and Monday to go to Sea World et al. Unfortunately, my wife apparently has a romantic weekend planned for the same time with the OM. I'll think about that as little as possible.

Regards,
Larry

Hi Larry. Welcome to the boards. So sorry to find you here. But take heart that you are among friends. I'm basically a newbie here also. I find that most of our situations have one or two things in common. Please feel free to vent here, journal your experiences and ask questions.

I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself. Your sitch with your W is the only thing that you cannot control. However you can control yourself, your health, your relationship with your kids and in-laws and that's the most important thing. YOU.

One thing I found out from reading the threads here is that if I work on myself, strengthened my relationship with my children, with my MIL, with my co-workers, etc. then I am so much better already. Having the W back and free from whatever funk she is or was on is icing on the cake. But, until then I will try my very best to make her see and realize what she is giving up on.

I might be able to help you with your tennis - I play regularly and I live in Irvine. Do you fish? I've always wanted to take the kids fishing but don't know how or how to get started.

Good luck.