still building the missing half

[bambam1970]

As much as it was unfullfilling to be married to a Vulcan, I would have hated being married to Mr. Look-At-Me.

ROFLMAO.....what a great nickname for him!


Thanks Half!

[inmyplace]

Hi HM. That would be fun.

[Cinderellaman]

HI HM !!! just checking in with you, hope all is well !

IMP...you've cut the chord on me ...I miss you ! Hope you're well ! xxx

[inmyplace]

I just posted to you!!!

Thank you. I am doing well. Been busy at work and need to go back because I just noticed lunch is over. One of the things I need to work on is not getting distracted.

[HalfMissing]

My poor S7 had a big meltdown last night. He was feeling lonely because I gave D10 so much attention the last few days with her flu. He ended up being punished with no PS2, computer games, or CD player. It really set him over the top.

He said that he is tired of only having one parent and he wants me to hurry up and get divorced so I can meet someone new and get remarried. Then he would be happy because he would have another father and I would be happy again. Poor little thing. I explained that it is not that easy. Things will never be the same as they were but he still has his father. I am so glad that I am getting that referral for a counselor for him. I also told him to make a list of all the things he likes to do and I will try to do more of them with him. I also reminded him that he will have a lot of time with Grampa next week and he should start packing some things to bring with on vacation with him.

D10 was so sweet last night. She could see how upset I was over her brother's meltdown. To cheer me up, she reminded me of how lucky I am to spend so much time with them and what Daddy is missing.

How can these jerks do this to their children? I mentioned to H about getting the referral for the kids to see a counselor and his only response was to make sure the counselor had his phone number too. H has never once apologized to the children or expressed any regret for what has happened to my knowledge. H acts like all of this was out of his control. Grrr.

IMP, I am going to hold you to it. You have to plan a midwest road trip this fall! I promise to bore you with engineering stories like ones about my thesis work on tennis rackets. I can tell you accountant humor like ones about my BIL and the tax mistakes that almost ruined him financially.

[Dom R]

When I talked to the lawyer yesterday she said not to worry,in five years I would be remarried to some great guy ...

your lawyer is obnoxious. it's people like her that are the reason why people rush out to get divorced, to find a "better person", yet the divorce rate for 2nd marriages is higher, not lower, than 1st ones.

[HalfMissing]

I am not rushing out to find a "better person". This lawyer is the one who said that instead of filing for a D several months ago I should try to get my H to see a MC that she recommended. When I came back to see her, she said that she had hoped I would be one of the lucky ones and that it had worked. There is nothing wrong with trying to see some hope for the future in spite of a bad situation.

[HalfMissing]

I talked to the children some more yesterday about how they were feeling about our situation. I explained to them that I really need them to help me out by getting along better and not fighting and that this is very important to me. D10 is trying hard but S7 has so much anger and antagonizes her. S7 talked about how he hates being in a single parent home. (Yes, he used those words.) We talked about why he hates it and he said that he needs more attention and we talked about ways to make that happen. I also explained that none of us like our situation but that you don't always get what you want in life and we have to make the best life we can now.

Bam, IMP, goal, Struggling, Grace, Cinders, and all my other friends here, I just wanted to mention that I changed my profile to include my email address. If anyone would like to contact me, grab it before I remove it in a few days. My heart is with everyone here. You are all good, loving people and deserve the best in life.

[Struggling_Husba]

I grabbed your email address and put it in my contact database under "Missing, Half".

As for your kids, I'm sorry. I am going through it too. Mine are D6 and S3. My daughter says all her friends are lucky cause the parents don't live in separate houses. She also asked if when W and I get divorced, does that mean the parents stop loving the kids.

My standard line is "I'm sorry this is happening. Our family is going through a really hard time. I wish it were not happening. But these problems are grown up problems. They have nothing to do with you. Kids should not even try to get involved with grown up problems. A kid's only job is to be a kid." Then of course I constantly reassure them about my love and their Mom's love, that we'll never leave them, and that they will always be safe and loved and taken care of. Then I smother them with hugs and kisses until they beg me to stop.

[HalfMissing]

Oh, what a good daddy you are! My H is not capable of "smothering them with hugs and kisses". He expresses love by sending them email links to stories they would be interested in, but it is not enough. I make up for it as much as I can. I promised S7 he can sleep in the "big bed" tonight since his sister got to when she was sick. I am so glad the children take after me in this respect and are so affectionate.

Last night, S7 and I started to read Harry Potter 1 together. We are alternating pages. I had punished him from listening to his CD player, so this is one good thing that came from it. He reads well but doesn't have the zest for it that D10 has. Maybe this will help him learn to love it too.