NikkiB #18

[S.T. _I Made It!]

ya, I can totally understand why you would want to try it (invite OW&BF over), but what you would learn, would definitely not be worth the consequences you'd pay from doing it.

I know you don't want to detach because you think you might not want him back. I had the same feelings. But how can we not have those feelings? We've practically lost ourselves before the bomb so it's like we were oblivious to our own needs or desires so when the bomb happens it wakes us up to what WE want and when our WAS has been so aweful to us, it makes us feel like "why would I want HIM back?" But really know that if you guys get thru this...or I should say WHEN...things will be better. this whole thing is a learning experience and your R will be better for it...better than it was before. And you've got to know that if you tried to start all over again with someone new, well, more than likely they have not been thru this learning experience and problems could happen and you could be going thru a sitch all over again.

I know that you love your H, you wouldn't be in such turmoil over the hurt he is giving you. You wouldn't have done all that you have, if you didn't truely love him. It's okay to have feelings that you don't want to be together. For goodness sakes, he's not treating you how he should right now, so of course your going to have thoughts of doubt. Now let's say the whole sitch was over, he wanted you forever and the OW was out of the picture. You guys are committing to the R in a way you hadn't been before. Would you still want him as your H? I'm thinking yes. But just realize that everyone who is M, doesn't want to be M to their spouse every minute of their lives.

praying for a great week for you! Give your dad some good wishes for his bday, and I hope he doesn't go overboard with the mushiness/neediness to your stepmom. You have a good time too