Newcomer in Pain

[GainingStrength]

J (25 years) - You are awesome! Thank you so much for your thoughtful great advice. Also, your story is inspiring.

I am really low today. I found out from my D this morning that my W took her out and had a day with "mom's friend Mr. Adams", yesterday. So now I know who he is. I googled him and there were many references on the internet. Does not make me feel good.

I just now set up three coaching sessions. I really need that, along with you guys' support.

Yes, my W has been acting wierd. Along with all the divorce stuff, she is wearing dresses to work to show off her cleavage (and she's the CEO!). She's also been listening to my son's music. MLC is definitely part of it.

Re the viagra, I'm onto it. Actually Cialis lasts longer. However, the real problem has been that our other R difficulties have put sex on the back burner. Also, sex has been a low priority for W ever since the birth of our first child.

Fortunately, I read DR and other good books early on (it's only been a month, but seems like a year), and I've been DBing almost from the start. I pat myself on the back for that, but I've still got a long way to go. Anyway, no recriminations, no threats, no pleading, no anger, and no challenging her choices. I've also managed to be positive about the divorce process and paperwork.

My goal is to remove all focus from me or my reactions and let her be the one doing most of the work thinking about the costs of her choices.

At the same time, I've started working hard to GAL. Yesterday, I picked my son up at my W's parents (he stayed the weekend) and had dinner with them. They are my age. They hate what she's doing but, like me, they have to live with it. Anyway, we planned to get together again next Saturday, along with W's brother, to go wind surfing. Also, W's father and I plan to take golf lessons with my S (W might start thinking I'm stealing her family from her). I'm also going to start playing tennis again.

Also, I'm taking my kids to San Diego Sunday and Monday to go to Sea World et al. Unfortunately, my wife apparently has a romantic weekend planned for the same time with the OM. I'll think about that as little as possible.

Regards,
Larry