I didn't even realize that my thread was locked. That shows you how much action my thread gets.
Not much going on with me. H called from his work this morning and when I answered it was just dead air and then on the second Hello, I got a dial tone. One of three things happened, either someone came in his office or another call came in and he had to hang up, he started to call me and chickened out, or he hung up when I answered because he is mad again.
I got another notice from my attorney that we have a hearing regarding the judgment of D. H and his attorney are trying to manipulate the settlement so he choose what income his CS is based on. Of course, we are objecting to the way the judgment is written. The objection written by my attorney was quite sarcastic reflecting my attorneys frustration with H and his attorney. So that may have made him angry again.
I am choosing to believe that he either got interrupted or that he chickened and hung up. I am choosing to believe as my title says that God is working on my H.
Hope all is well with all of you and you are having a great weekend.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I don't know why I post anymore because I don't get much in the way of responses. I feel sometimes like the lack of responses I get to my posts is an indicator of how little hope of reconciliation there is in my situation.
I never hear from H anymore. He has not contacted me directly in a long time. I send occasional email about S17's stuff and I did see him last week at a football passing camp. He smiled and spoke but that was about it. I just keep praying and praying and hoping and hoping.
Is the fact that I can't just walk away a sign that there is something wrong with me? Is it possible since my IL's seem to be accepting OW as being "very nice" a sign that she is the right person for H and that I should just give up?
When I pray for a sign that I should stay the course I usually get something that indicates to me that I am on the right track but am I imagining the signs or are they real?
This is so hard. I have had to attend two weddings in the last 2 weeks and although I was so totally happy for the couples, one of which are my age and the bride was marrying for the first time, I always feel a tremendous sadness during the vows. I remember vividly looking into my H's eyes and saying and hearing those same vows. I saw the look of love in my H's eyes and know the feeling of love in my heart when I said mine.
As our friends got married one by one after us, he still looked deeply into my eyes when they said their vows and I still saw that he meant them. How did that all change? Should we renew our vows every five years so that we maintain that feeling?
I miss that man who looked at me with those loving eyes and I do not ever want to be with anyone else. I will not be bitter if it doesn't work out because I had the one great love of my life but I can just about guarantee that I will not do this again.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I hope you don't mind that I post this but I feel that it might answer some of your questions. I received it via email yesterday:
THE TRUE PATH TO HAPPINESS -
"Happy are those who walk in the law of the Lord." Psalm 119:1
Occasionally I receive comments about this devotional stating that I am giving individuals false hope for the healing of their marriages. These individuals say they have stood long enough and the Lord wants them to get on with their lives. I have searched God's Word high and low for scriptures that justify this, but I have found none. The world will never provide true happiness, but God's Word says, "Happy are those who walk in the law of the Lord."
Moreover, what does God's Word have to say about the divorced and separated?
"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
God's Word does not say go out and find another spouse. God's Word does not say go out and date other people. God's Word DOES say to remain single or reconcile with your spouse! God does not give you a task without providing the grace necessary to do it.
"If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will be not also along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:31-32
God will graciously give you all things when you are obedient to His Word. Seeking the world's remedies to your problems will never bring happiness. Nothing can separate you from the love of Christ except your own willful disobedience to His leading.
"Who shall separate us form the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword (or separation or divorce)? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35, 37-39
Only God can fill the emptiness in your heart. Your absent spouse cannot fill the emptiness nor can the lure of the world. Only Jesus Christ can fill your love hunger. Seek the peace that only comes from the Father.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
God does not promise happiness but troubles in this world. I hear from Standers that have given up the fight. They say they have heard from the Lord and He wants them to be "happy." This is simply not scriptural and therefore cannot be from God. When feelings like this well up in your heart, run to the throne of grace to fill yourself with God's merciful love.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34
Standing involves seeking the Lord and His mercy, one day at a time. The Lord is with you every step of the way.
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16
Only God can provide the mercy and grace needed to continue standing for the healing of your family. The world can only deliver empty promises. God hurts when you hurt. He knows first hand the feelings of loneliness and rejection that you are experiencing. He wants to help. Patiently wait for the Lord and His deliverance. He will never fail you!
"Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows...He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon him, and by his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5
Jesus was bruised for you. He died for your salvation. By His stripes, you are healed and that includes a healed marriage. Do not give up on your only source of hope, Jesus Christ. The world will never deliver happiness nor solve your marital problems. Only the Lord can do that. Do not turn your back on Him. He is waiting and willing to meet your every need. Do not lose hope. God will see you though.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
My mother told me today that one should never give up HOPE ! I think that if by now you have made a good life for yourself and you feel happy, then you've achieved so much ! If you're not 'waiting' anymore but DO leave your door open, I think that hope is not lost !
I wish that your H will one day look at you with those eyes filled with love ....but I think first you must see yourself with those eyes in the mirror !
We must love ourselves before someone else can truly love us !!!
Take care sweety...sorry about the low posts !!!!
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I just reread my post and what a downer I am. On good days, I know that I have loved my H and that I am so worth loving but the frustration of this journey are many. I struggle financially while I pray that my D will not ever be final. If it gets settled I would be better financially but I would be D from the one true love of my life. So herein lies my dilemma. I think that having time off from work always brings out the sad part and the weddings I attended made it worse. I have a life and it is pretty full and happy for the most part. I don't have money to go out and do things but I do have plenty to keep me busy at home and I have church and get involved with things there.
I truly believe that sometime it is too depressing to read about someone doing this for more than 3 years with no real progress toward reconciliation and still standing.
The reason that I don't post often is that I really feel I don't have much to offer. I can give advice but I have not progress or reason for anyone to think that it is good advice.
Take care all and I will be back when I feel a little more positive.
God bless you all.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Don't feel as if things are not happening because God does ALOT of work that we are unable to see and this is where faith comes in.
Also, we must learn patience, let go of the anger, forgiveness...
I am not implying that you are full of anger or unforgiving, I am stating what God has taught me thru this journey because we also go thru changes during this time.
Just remember to have faith and patience.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
The reason that I don't post often is that I really feel I don't have much to offer. I can give advice but I have not progress or reason for anyone to think that it is good advice.
Hey! Wassup with this nonsense?
Do you know what you have done for me? your email one day helped me get out of bed.
You have been at this for 3 years, do you know that is a blessing in itself? God has held your hand thru this.
I know how hard it is not to "see" what you think is progress.
But you have made so much progress. You are a wonderful mom. You are a wonderful prayer partner to me.
You reach out, when you are feeling down.
Just look at what you do for a living?
You helped me when i was lost about Mia.
You have helped others rethink giving up, and have helped them hang in there for one more day.
I am sorry you feel that you don't get much responses.
It is b/c there is nothing that can be done on order for HIM to get out of the tunnel any faster.
You know the drill, work on you.
read Brue's thread today .
It is wonderful.
Mamma, you are so strong, I am very proud of you
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
Oh, Lissie. You did it again. You made me cry. I love you so much. Thanks for your kind words. You are so right. I know that even if I never reconcile with my H, I will be a better person than when I started with this. I have a relationship with God and I have become a better person, teacher, and mother. I have survived.
I hope my words do help others because I am totally convinced that the reason God put me on this journey and on this earth.
Thank you all for your help today. I will oontinue to post and I will continue to stand.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I didn't say that hanging on was going to bring him back but have you read the number of posts lately that have WA's for no apparent reason coming back home. No reason other than they have progressed through the tunnel. Each of us have to do what is right for us. That means that each of our journey will look slightly different. OT, just because it worked for you to let go and move on, does not mean that it is the only way or the right way. My way may not fit BFM but your way may not fit either.
BFM, you will know what is right for you. If you are a praying woman, then pray and you will know what to do. Hope this helps.
You do to give good advice. You gave me this advice just today and I thought it was wonderful. Helped to remind me where my focus needs to be, in prayer. Thanks!
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
