"as a woman" you deserve more? interesting. I dont understand it, but hope your husband will.

I'm glad you tried that attempted recovery from pushing him out.
Could have been better, though.

You went from, "I want you gone", to "ok i approve of whatever you want to do, for yourself".
I think it would have been better if you made it clear that it is NOT okay with you. from the way you worded it here, sounded like,
"well, i understand its what you want to do, so okay".

(better, would have been something like, "I cant control you, so I wont attempt to stop you; you're going to do what you want. But it's still not ok with me")


Quote:

His irritation comes when I appear weak and needy (tears) at not wanting him to go.


It's great that you can recognize this. I think this is a really important thing. Probably the best thing you can do, is figure out a better "communication style",and emotional expression style for yourself, that can convey both that you want him to stay, but that you dont "need" him to stay.

no tears, no begging. just love, supported by strength.

maybe this whole thing is in some ways triggered by some feelings by him that you are weak and dependant, and in his selfish phase, he doesnt want to "support" someone dependant on him.
SO, show him you can love him, without being dependant on him.

ironic, in that he is totally acting like a child himself. Putting his head in your lap so you can rub his back?? its all about "me, me, me! take care of me mommy!" sheeesh.


[oOOooo.. maybe thats what he's looking for.. or at least part of him.. sometimes.. .. a regression to be taken care of and told what to do.. that would be kinda sad...]

Did you try the sexual role reversal 180 suggestions? ;\)


Last edited by Dom R; 07/30/07 05:30 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle