He's still with her, and I'm moving on (part 2)...

[Hope_11]

MK, sorry to hear that you are going through this. It's the hardest thing that I have ever been through, but speaking from experience things will get better.

You will probably be my role model/ advisor. Keep up the good work and thanks for the encouragement.

Thank you that is very nice of you to say. It's nice to see that even though my sitch is terrible, I might be helping other people.

What pitfalls should I avoid?

My first suggestion would be to GAL (get a life). I didn't do a very good job at that during the first couple of months of my sitch. I didn't go out very much because I was protecting H. I wanted to make the path home the easiest possible. I figured the less people saw of me...the less likely they were to think that the rumors were actually true. I continued to do everything with him in mind. Now, I look back and realize that my actions didn't affect my H's behavior in the least bit. I should have lived for myself from day one. I am an attractive 27 year old woman and I have my whole life ahead of me. Also, don't get hung up on the little things. Don't get hung up on how your H reacts. My H would fly off the handle at me in one conversation and then a few days later, he would be very pleasant. The only explanation that I have is that my H is crazy. Just the other day, my H's brother and sister told me I need to be meaner to my H...they asked what I was getting from being nice. I told them...I can say that I took the high road and I never have to look back and say I didn't give it my all. I told them that they haven't seen it all and I have not let him walk all over me. I have stood my ground. I am proud of that. You don't know how you will react to this situation until you are in it. You cannot control anyone else's actions...only your own. My H's own foolish pride has destroyed our marriage, but it has not destroyed my spirit. I hope this all helps.