It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Trixi]

I have broached the subject about him not going and he always says he *has* to do this. He keeps feeling 'drawn' to move out. In the past, when he would make noises of discontent, I would always talk him out of it; this time I did bother to try because we are both unhappy with the sitch and he refused to put in the 15 hours UA, which even he agrees could have made him feel differently.

I see what you are saying about setting the moral standard. With him, I don't know that I will verbalize it as such--I think he would rebel against it; but if I say that *as a woman* I deserve more, THAT I think he would respect. And once he moves out, the whole dynamic will change.

Yesterday he was sorting thru stuff that really didn't matter towards his move, and I said, "You know- I can go thru that later. You should focus on your stuff."
And he said "Can't wait for me to leave, huh?"
And I said "Pretty much. You are ripping the bandaid off one hair at time. I am deeply hurt watching you go off partying; coming home at 3:30am. I really don't need or want to see it." Him" Ok. I understand."

Then I left for the store and when I came back I said "Look, don't misunderstand what I said. I do NOT WANT you to go. I want us to work on this. BUT- you are telling me that there is no other way and that you MUST go. So, if you really HAVE to go, then so be it." He said he knew I didn't want him to go.

Then we sit on the couch together, he puts his head in my lap so I can rub his back and head and he hugs me.

Then, last night, more sex. This morning, kiss goodbye and he told me that he would be having dinner at his parents.

And yet I can't stop him from moving. His irritation comes when I appear weak and needy (tears) at not wanting him to go. He knows what we need to do to get this back on track, but will not do it.

The ring is back on..for now.

Dom-hope your negotiations resolve themselves quickly and to your liking.